Every living grandmother lines up at my recliner each Christmas Eve.
I proceed to finger them in every feasible orifice, sequentially.
One after the other, I finger them. When I'm down to the last one, I take out a chainsaw and ask her if she is a pretty little princess.
Should she say yes, I will use the saw to tear out her eyes.
Should she say no, I use the saw to cut off her ears. (this one's a family tradition)
She will then wait with the others, as I prepare the yearly device. The device is described as horrid by some, but I find it pleasing, especially with the head of a rake rammed up the sphincter.
Once the device is ready, I guide them to it, one by one, to send them through the portal into the dimension of unending pleasure, where they will have needles pricked into their belly-buttons.
After their journey, they appear at their respective homes and dream of being compressed against a bed of nails.
I then masturbate over the ears/eyes and get rid of them via the garbage disposal.
This year, I got eyes.
