It actually makes things worse. As far as I know it really isn't healthy to have such thoughts at age 10(or whatever it was, something around that probably.)
If you're this depressed go to a therapist or have a discussion with your parents at least. It's also not helping that you admit a self-hating depressive lifestyle that kind of turns off a lot of people.
Internet reputation takes like zero time to rebuild. Nobody gives a stuff what you did a few days ago, just re-add all your friends and resume life.
a therapist seems like the best option right now but i'd rather take an online one since i'm only 13 and my parents would think something is up if i asked them to go to a therapist.
Yeah you shouldn't tell your parents you're having suicidal maniac thoughts. That'd be really stupid.
i don't think you know what i've been through
i'm not suicidal god dammit, that was 3 years ago
i'm just thinking maybe i need to start over, meet new friends, make a new life