AightStarting with Bluetooth, not bad.In particular what stood out to me the most in A Squirrel's Life were the decisions you made in the first stanza. The "'cross" and "disappear'd" weren't really necessary to abbreviate, because generally that's just a way of establishing a rhythm, and you don't seem to have a rhythmic scheme, though the next two lines are nicely inverted in syllabic structure.Second stanza was very nice, no real complaints there.Third stanza just seemed out of place. The rest of the poem was descriptive and impersonal. All of a sudden, you introduce the idea of the poem being from the perspective of the squirrel, and the language is much less formal. It seemed like something that would belong in a different poem.Off The Mark was pretty funny, I liked it. However, "nail head" adds nothing more than "nail," and is just less elegant. It also doesn't really add to the meter. I'm not entirely sure about the pattern, but you'd probably either want to add a syllable or subtract one, since it was 9/7/8/7, and the 8 doesn't really fit (discounting the "and" on the last line.) If every other syllable is stressed, it flows better without the "head."Since there isn't any rhyme between the first and third lines anyhow, you might do well to avoid saying "hammer" twice in a row. The phrasing on the first line is a bit awkward anyhow, so it might be worth looking at that.Ok.My first point of attack, so to speak, would be the contradiction in the third and second to last stanzas. The character says he is the shell of a man, says that it could be worse than being the shell of a man, and then proceeds to say that what could be worse would be that he was a shell of a man.Your use of the word "bide" is a little strange. If you're referencing back to time, then you could probably phrase it in such a way as to eliminate confusion; perhaps "but I bide most of my time" or something along those lines."Not today" sounds a bit overly dramatic for your purposes.Otherwise, idk if I can really give much advice. I'm not really accustomed to the level of repetition that you're using, and it is so essential to the poem that I dare not criticize it.But thank you for the complement, I do appreciate it.I don't really share that kind of stuff often.
Also, in the second one, I kind of had to use the double hammer part - it was part of the assignment, lol.
Not bad at allKind of a cool form to it
