Unoffical update - OP can override anything on here:
Charles - Bought a pretty decent lute for 100G. You can now use charm!
Biohazard - 3 - You push your zombie into the crowd of 5 hats, reducing all of their HPs to 90 from 100!
Legodude - 5, 3 - You ambush the hats, hitting one for 30 HP and avoiding hits!
Snake - 1, 2 - You yell really loud and do nothing. Your voice hurts now. (Incapacitated - lose a turn)
Johnny - 4 - You're almost able to cut through the veil, but not quite.
Child - 6, 5 - Bought an amythest scmitar that increases your roll on a one or five. Overshot!
Killer - 4 - Pew, pew! You shoot a hat for 20 HP.
Myself - 5, 1 - I swear, it's not rigged! I avoid causing time pair-of-sox and rescue Flatflyer with no affect on the future. He's still weak, though.
Flatflyer - Lose a turn to recover.
Jarelash - 4 - You blink and regain moisture to your eye.
Zanaran - 6, 4 - You jump from way too high and get yourself killed. You kill the hat we're fighting, though!
Cyber - 3 - You find some silverware for 20G. You have 2 forks, 2 spoons, and 2 knives.
Results:
Cap - DEAD - 20G for everyone
Trilby - 90/100
Bowler - 90/100
Beret - 90/100
Beanie - 90/100
Snake - Incapacitated
Flatflyer - Incapacitated
Zanaran - Dead