Guys, I forgot that I had to go to my dad's where I can't use a computer for non-homework purposes.
I am doing the update now with an edited post, sorry :(
Edit: TADA!
EpicMan - 1; 2 - You light your hands on fire and soon succumb to the raging fires of doom.
Biohazard - 4; 5 - lel you equip the stuff out of the fedora and pull a euphoric tip on those autistic sheeples
Electrk - 1; 6 - You accidentally smash all of your liquor but manage to not get cut on the glass. Good job!
Zanaran - 5; 3 - That was more work than loving necessary. You are alive, at 66/100 health.
Lancelot - 6; 2 - They fire the arrows so hard that they broke their bows and can no longer fire. You paid 100 gold.
Charles - 1; 1 - You trip on the sticks and gauge your eye out. Zanaran is wondering why you're putting sticks around him.
Flatflyer - 2; 6 - Out of your hand pours a feeble stream of water. Nothing happens.
Legodude - 2; 1 - Your phone is out of battery!
Johnny - 3; 5 - No revival this time.
Jarelash - 3; 4 - You find some sticks and pebbles.
Snake - 2; 3 - The grenade explodes into a shower of confetti! Well, that sure was useless. You invest in Swat's company.
PurpleSir - 1; 2 - You run into the group and get hit by confetti which you are actually allergic to and die.
Ben - 3; 2 - You're not quite sure why you rolled the dice, but you join the group.
Swat, I don't know what you mean by your last post.
The hats hit player 5, 6, 11, and 12 for 12 damage.
Lancelot: 72/100, 0G
Charles: 66/100 - Bleeding 5* - Low Accuracy for 5 turns*
Legodude: 98/100
Snake: 86/100 - 75G
Child: 88/100
PurpleSir: 88/100
Zanaran: 66/100
All others are at full health and 100G.
Cap - DEAD
Trilby - 15/100 - Afterburn 5
Bowler - 15/100 - Afterburn 5
Beret - 15/100 - Afterburn 5
Beanie - 15/100 - Afterburn 5
We're so close!
*Bleeding 5 means that you lose 5HP one turn, 4 the next, then 3, 2, 1, and then the condition goes away. Low Accuracy means that your roll is the lowest out of two.