Why not just make - wait for it - a normal smoothie? Maybe the issue is that people think smoothie, and they think juice, yogurt, and a few strawberries and a half a banana. Well, in my book, that's not a smoothie. IMO, a proper smoothie should have:
Kale
Spinach
Strawberries
Bananas
Blueberries
Mango
Pineapple
...Plus more. The only downside is that there's a bunch of sugar in there too.
You honestly don't need that much fruit, since one or two is enough to counteract the kale's taste. I'm supposed to be (I missed solid food too much and had a slice of pizza) doing a juice fast, and drinks like these taste better than you expect. I could do the actual thing, though, if I just didn' t get cravings... I still feel healthier, though. Although you're not supposed to have dairy, since apparently it's fattening, but I don't know the science behind it. Bananas are a good subsitute for creaminess, though.
also by eliminating processed foods i don't mean don't eat unhealthy foods. You can have fried chicken, just not like KFC's, since homemade foods are generally free of chemicals and the like.