Whether or not you like it, the "sjws" are right. Genitalia only determines love. It can determine gender, but for some people, it just doesn't.
The definition >95% of people use is the right one, no matter what any teacher dictionary or paper says lol
You can pretend it doesn't for a class or a teacher, but as soon as you're back having a conversation with normal people or stuffposting on the internet, you stop.
Also I'm fairly certain most homoloveuals are after someone with the same genitalia as them, regardless of whether or not you consider that homoloveuality.