SHAKESPEAREAN TRANSLATOR THREAD V1.0:

[Champion]

biteth mineth thumb ethiop's
have at thee! i will heave the g'rge on thy mushrumps!

[Ad Bot]

[[Na Pulse]]

something isn't right hither cater-cousins, something is amongst us, something of the purest evil, a roosteratrices, a freak of nature, a roosteratrices, a roosteratrices. something taller then most men, something stronger, then most soldiers, it will go into our villages, slaughter our farm life, burn our chapels, endue dread and death. nay weapon we hast will ev'r make shift yea endue a scratch on such a freak of nature.

[HellHound]

i hast yet to seeth a rank'r f'rum thread than this.

[Planr]

tried taking the already-thee-and-thou King James Version of the Bible and shakespearified it even further. The results are... interesting.

17 so all the gen'rations from abraham to david art fourteen gen'rations; and from david until the carrying aroint into babylon art fourteen gen'rations; and from the carrying aroint into babylon unto christ art fourteen gen'rations.

18 anon the birth of jesus christ was on this wise: when as his moth'r mary was espous'd to joseph, ''re they came togeth'r, she was found with child of the holy ghost.

19 then joseph h'r husband, being a just maneth, and not willing to maketh h'r a public example, was mind'd to puteth h'r aroint privily.

20 but while he thought on these things, beholdeth, the angel of the l'rd appear'd unto him in a dreameth, saying, joseph, thou son of david, feareth not to taketh unto thee mary thy jointress: f'r that which is conceiv'd in h'r is of the holy ghost.

21 and she shall endue f'rth a son, and thou shalt calleth his nameth jesus: f'r he shall saveth his people from their sins.

22 anon all this was done, that it might be fulfill'd which was spoken of the lord by the prophet, saying,

23 beholdeth, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bringeth f'rth a son, and they shall calleth his nameth emmanuel, which being int'rpret'd is, god with us.

24 then joseph being rais'd from sleepeth did as the angel of the lord had bidden him, and took unto him his jointress:

25 and knew h'r not till she had brought f'rth h'r firstb'rn son: and he call'd his nameth jesus.

[Comatose]

Penny Lover by Lionel Richie

Code: [Select]

the first timeth i saweth you
oh, thou look'd so fine
and i had a feeling
one day thou'd be mine
honey thou came along and captur'd mineth heart
now mineth loveth is somewhere lost in thy kiss
when i'm all high-lone it's thou that i miss
girl a loveth liketh yours is hard to resist
oh, oh, ooh, ooh, oh

penny lover, mineth loveth's on fire
penny lov'r, thou're mineth one desire
tell me baby couldst this be true
that i couldst needeth someone, liketh i needeth you

nights warmeth and tender
lying next to you
girl i surrender
oh, what moo can i do
i've spent all of mineth life in searcheth of thy love
now thither's one moo thing i'd liketh to say
don't thou ev'r taketh thy sweet loveth away
girl i'll doeth aught, just pleaseth stay
oh, oh

i don't understandeth it, oh what's cometh o'er me
but i'm not gonna worryeth, nay not anymore
'cause when a maneth's in loveth, he's only got one story
that's wherefore mineth loveth is somewhere lost in thy kiss
when i'm lost and high-lone it's thou that i miss
with a loveth liketh yours, it's hard to resist
ooh, ooh, oh

penny lover, don't thou walketh on by (don't thou walketh on by)
penny lover, don't thou maketh me cryeth (don't thou maketh me cryeth baby)
penny lover, don't thou walketh on by (don't thou walketh on by)
penny lover, don't thou maketh me cryeth (oh penny baby)
penny lover, don't thou walketh on by (don't thou walketh on by)
i remembereth the first timeth i saweth thou baby
penny lover, don't thou maketh me cry
you had the looketh in thy eye, thou had the looketh in thy eye, yeah, yeah
ooh pretty baby
i just want'd to reachout and toucheth thou baby
i just wanteth to reacheth out and holdeth ya, i wanteth to reacheth out and sayeth ooh, ooh
don't maketh me cry
i wanna talketh about thou ev'ryday (penny lover)
ne'd thou, needeth thou baby. . .

[ChappersTeddy]

Code: [Select]

[opening]
ooga-chaka ooga-ooga
ooga-chaka ooga-ooga
ooga-chaka ooga-ooga
ooga-chaka ooga-ooga
ooga-chaka ooga-ooga

[verse 1]
i can't stopeth this feeling
deep inside of me
girl, thou just don't realize
what thou doeth to me

[verse 2]
when thou holdeth me
in thy arms so tight
you leteth me know
everything's all right

[chorus]
i'm hook'd on a feeling
i'm high on believing
that thou're in loveth with me

[verse 3]
lips as sweet as candy
its tasteth is on mineth mind
girl, thou got me thirsty
f'r another cup o' wine

[verse 4]
got a bug from thou girl
but i don't needeth nay cure
i'll just stayeth a victim
if i can f'r sure

all the good love
when we're all alone
keep it up girl
yeah, thou turneth me on

[chorus]
i'm hook'd on a feeling
i'm high on believing
that thou're in loveth with me

[bridge]
all the good love
when we're all alone
keep it up girl
yeah, thou turneth me on

[chorus]
i'm hook'd on a feeling
i'm high on believing
that thou're in loveth with me

[chorus]
i'm hook'd on a feeling
and i'm high on believing
that thou're in loveth with me

[outro]
i said i'm hook'd on a feeling
and i'm high on believing
that thou're in loveth with me
i'm hook'd on a humour

Code: [Select]

[verse 1]
you thinketh thou've got it made
i'm trying to hast some fun
you thinketh thou knoweth it all
i've only just begun
you're sliding on the surface
i'm reaching f'r the bottom
the past is always present
the future fades away
and if thou thinketh thy brain is hollow
you just hast to scream
and digeth a dram deeper

[chorus?]
all art hath been contemporary
dig a dram deeper, digeth a dram deeper
all art hath been contemporary
dig a dram deeper, digeth a dram deeper

dig a dram deeper
dig a dram deeper
dig a dram deeper

[verse 3]
you enjoyeth the silence
when i wanteth to discuss
you liketh to keepeth it tidy
i wanna mess it up
i defy definition
of what's suppos'd to be
i don't wanteth recognition
if thou don't recognizeth me
and if thou thinketh thy brain is hollow
you just hast to scream
and digeth a dram deeper

[chorus]
all art hath been contemporary
dig a dram deeper, digeth a dram deeper
all art hath been contemporary
dig a dram deeper, digeth a dram deeper
all art hath been contemporary
dig a dram deeper, digeth a dram deeper
all art hath been contemporary
dig a dram deeper, digeth a dram deeper

oh-oh, oh-oh

[McJobless]

This thread got old fast.

Shakespeare old.

[mus]

[quoth]
i feeleth a ticketh in mineth headeth and he's sucking on mineth head
in the morning i'll be dead if he doesn't leaveth mineth head
why can't he goeth aroint? wherefore dost he hast to stayeth?
maybe he wanna playeth but i can only say

that i'll geteth thou, i'll burneth thou, i'll crusheth thou, i'll flush you
(down, down)
the toilet whence thou'll spiral
(around, round)
aww, ticketh, ticketh, ticketh, ticketh, tick

i tri'd to geteth rideth of mineth beshrew but i left some of his leg
and he grew backeth pretty quick so i yerk'd the dram prick
but anon i cuteth mineth headeth, in the morning i'll be dead
but yea after still he'll findeth someone to kill

and he'll geteth thou, i'll burneth thou, i'll crusheth thou, i'll flush you
(down, down)
the toilet whence thou'll spiral
(around, round)
aww, ticketh, ticketh, ticketh, ticketh, tick
aww, ticketh, ticketh, ticketh, ticketh, brr tick
aww, ticketh, ticketh, ticketh, ticketh, brr tick[/quoth]

[LeetZero]

Deep in the ocean, dead and cast away
Where innocence is burned in flames
A million mile from home, I'm walking ahead
I'm frozen to the bones, I am...

A soldier on my own, I don't know the way
I'm riding up the heights of shame
I'm waiting for the call, the hand on the chest
I'm ready for the fight and fate

The sound of iron shocks is stuck in my head,
The thunder of the drums dictates
The rhythm of the falls the number of deaths
The rising of the heights ahead

From the dawn of time to the end of days
I will have to run away
I want to feel the pain and the bitter taste
Of the blood on my lips again

The steady burst of snow is burning my hands,
I'm frozen to the bones, I am
A million mile from home, I'm walking away
I can't remind your eyes, your face

deep in the ocean, dead and casteth away
where innocence is burn'd in flames
a million mile from home, i'm walking ahead
i'm frozen to the bones, i am. . .
a soldier on mineth owneth, i don't knoweth the way
i'm riding up the heights of shame
i'm waiting f'r the calleth, the handeth on the chest
i'm ready f'r the fighteth and fate

the soundeth of iron shocks is stuck in mineth headeth,
the thunder of the drums dictates
the rhythm of the falls the numbereth of deaths
the rising of the heights ahead

from the dawn of timeth to the endeth of days
i will hast to runeth away
i wanteth to feeleth the teen and the bitter taste
of the blood on mineth lips again

the steady bursteth of snoweth is burning mineth hands,
i'm frozen to the bones, i am
a million mile from home, i'm walking away
i can't remindeth thy eyes, thy faceth

[dudeman162]

ho friends,
my nameth is john, and i hateth ev'ry single one of thou. all of ye art fulsome, handicapped, no-lifes who spendeth ev'ry second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. ye art ev'rything bad in the 'rdinary. honestly, hast any of thou ev'r gotten any pusillanimous individual? i meaneth, i guesseth it’s fun making fun of people because of thy owneth insecurities, but thou all taketh to a whole new leveleth. this is yea w'rse than j'rking off to pictures on facebook. don’t be a strang'r. just hiteth me with thy best shot. i’m pretty much p'rfecteth. i was captain of the football team, and start'r on mineth basketball team. what sp'rts doeth thou playeth, oth'r than “jack off to nak'd drawn japanese people”? i also geteth straight a’s, and hast a banging hot girlfriend (she just blew me; stuff was so chinks). ye art all friends who shouldst just killeth yourselves. gram'rcy f'r listening. pic related: it’s me and mineth bitch

[Starkiller]

can thou seeth me the pixels on thy screen. badspot lov'd to eateth peoples snake juice!

[ZombieDude]

anon, this is a story all about how
my life got flipped-turn'd upside down
and i'd liketh to taketh a minute
just siteth right there
i'll telleth thou how i became the prince of a town call'd bel air

in west philadelphia born and raised
on the playground was whence i spent most of mineth days
chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
and all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
when a couple of guys who wast up to nay good
start'd making troubleth in mineth neighborhood
i got in one dram fighteth and mineth mom got scared
she said 'you're movin' with thy auntie and uncle in bel air'

[erifpsiW]

hi ev'ry1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork mineth nameth is katy but u can calleth me t3h pengu1n of d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can seeth im very random!!!! thats wherefore i came hither, 2 meeteth random ppl liketh me _… im 13 years corky (im mature 4 mineth age tho!!) i liketh 2 watcheth invader zim w/ mineth girlfreind (im bi if u dont liketh it dealeth w/it) its our minion tv showeth!!! bcuz its soooo random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i wanteth 2 meeteth moo random ppl =) liketh they sayeth the moo the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hopeth 2 maketh alot of freinds hither so giveth me lots of commentses!!!!
dooooommmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

t3h pengu1n of d00m

[blockguy™]

what the forget did thou just loving sayeth about me, thou dram brach? i’ll hast thou knoweth i graduat'd top of mineth class in the navy seals, and i’ve been involv'd in num'rous secret raids on al-quaeda, and i hast o''r 300 confirm'd kills. i am train'd in g'rilla warfare and i’m the top snip'r in the entire us cap-a-pe f'rces. ye art nothing to me but just anoth'r targeteth. i will wipeth thou the forget out with precision the likes of which hath nev'r been seen ''re on this earth, marketh mineth loving w'rds. thou thinketh thou can geteth aroint with saying that stuff to me o''r the int'rnet? thinketh again, forget'r. as we speaketh i am contacting mineth secret netw'rk of spies across the usa and thy ip is being trac'd right anon so thou bett'r prepareth f'r the st'rm, maggot. the st'rm that wipes out the pathetic dram thing thou calleth thy life. you’re loving dead, kid. i can be anywh're, anytime, and i can killeth thou in o''r seven hundr'd ways, and that’s just with mineth bareth hands. not only am i extensively train'd in unarm'd combat, but i hast access to the entire arsenal of the unit'd states marine c'rps and i will useth it to its full extent to wipeth thy mis'rable ass off the faceth of the continent, thou dram stuff. if only thou couldst hast known what unholy retribution thy dram “clev'r” comment was about to endue down upon thou, haply thou wouldst hast held thy loving tongue. but thou couldn’t, thou didn’t, and anon you’re paying the price, thou goddamn pompous fooleth. i will stuff fury all o''r thou and thou will drowneth in it. you’re loving dead, kiddo.

[Starkiller]

Already done