Blogland Forums: Need advice for a stuffty friendship situation

[CreamTurk3y]

Recently me and 2 of my friends got into a spat, a spat that grew into something big. Long story short, there was a misunderstanding, which turned into me being called a liar and a betrayer. I also "lost some of their respect" This started with me accidentally agreeing with something that I felt pressured to agree with when it was 3:00 AM and I was half awake and ready to go to sleep. When I took some time to think about it I decided to bring it up with one of them. It didn't go well and then the other one got extremely mad at me. Telling me I lied and betrayed them and my word. I tried to explain to them I felt pressured and I wasn't completely there but they completely ignored that and then told me I'd be forced to do the thing to "learn a valuable lesson" This made me realize a couple of things, not good things.

I've known the one I tried bringing it up with for almost 10 years, we've been good friends since we were kids. But I understand something, I've never really felt like they treated me as their best friend. They're rarely there for me when I need it the most and they've always treated me like I was beneath them, not an equal. The other one I've known for almost a year and is the partner of my good friend. They've always been nice and funny and pleasant to be around but it was like they were a completely different person that night. They treated me like they owned me and I had no right to what I needed or wanted and I just had to go by what they said. I've been kind of feeling like this for awhile, but only now do I fully understand.  They've never fully respected my needs or anything. I was just there to entertain them, never really their friend, I guess what I need help with is, I think I need a break or completely end the friendship with both of them. But I'm not sure how, considering I've known the first one for so long.

tl;dr: What's the best way to tell a friend you've known for almost 10 years you need a break/should end the friendship?

tl;dr2: Just loving read it

P.S: I would appreciate intelligence in this thread and actual responses.

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[Blockzillahead]

make new friends and hang with them instead. real friends dont treat each other like this

remember just because someone is your best friend doesnt mean you are their best friend

[hodot]

Just be upfront with your feelings, tell them how you feel they've treated you. They may not have realized it or they'll say something like "finally. forget off."

so it could either mend or cut off completely.

[ultimamax]

There's no need to go out and say anything. If they are treating you poorly, don't enable their behavior. If they invite you to do something or attempt to engage conversation, decide how you'll next act based on how they treat you. If you feel like you're legitimately interested in engaging them socially, then go ahead. Make your feelings known through how you act. Basically how you naturally react to what they say and do, given this realization, will either reform how they treat you, or they will become disinterested and you will fall off.

If you accuse them of anything, they'll deny it. They don't observe their own behavior.

[Rally]

I knew a kid for 15 years, since we were in like, preschool. Recently I've stopped talking to him because he's a psychotic cunt with anger issues and 0 emotional intelligence. How long you've known somebody is irrelevant. If they're treating you like stuff, they're treating you like stuff. I know the kind of friendship you've described. It's not a friendship. Start putting your foot down.

Tell them to stop being babies and suck it the forget up and accept your apology and move on, and if they refuse, just stop talking to them. Which I know sounds awful and hard, but you'll find new, better friends. Hell, they might even come crawling back and it'll have changed.

[Miga]

If you accuse them of anything, they'll deny it. They don't observe their own behavior.

Be aware of that. People who tend to do stuff like this are always right, according to them. Everything you do is wrong, everything they do is right. I'm going through terrible situation like this, too.

[fake essay]

just tell them that you think there acting like total jerks

if that doesn't work stop doing things with them

if that doesn't work kill them