A Goblin's Tale

[Biohazard]

Holy stuff become a mage and make a spell called "The Violating Volatile Vomit Rocket", which makes you puke projectile acid.

You take the top row of items, as the contents are going to implode upon taking a class item.
You consider your options, but upon seeing the book of tomes, you immediately grab it and scrawl your idea down on paper. It takes a while, but you've finally got it. You take a step back and heave. A flood of acid shoots from your gut with great force.

Upon vomiting, you discover you're immune to your own magick. This should help later on.
What now?

[Ad Bot]

[Satan From Wreck-It-Ralph]

combine the violating volatile vomit rocket with fire and head to your new home, the eerie castle

[Cheezballer]

combine the violating volatile vomit rocket with fire and head to your new home, the eerie castle

Cook the raw chop over the fire. Then do the above

[Biohazard]

Cook the raw chop over the fire. Then do the above

Good thing you cooked that chop, you might not have another chance to. The journey to the castle is a few hours away.
You create another vomiting tome, except with flaming acid. After that, you set off for the castle and take a shortcut around Jeragstead. It's getting dark now.

You're cut off by a cyclops just beside the town.
What do you do?

[AutoBahn]

Projectile vomit!

[grunterdb1951]

Violating Volatile Vomit Rocket Go! Right into his fat eye!

[Satan From Wreck-It-Ralph]

Climb up to his head, rip his ear right off, and then use it to gauge out his eye!

[Biohazard]

Projectile vomit!

Violating Volatile Vomit Rocket Go! Right into his fat eye!

You scream as loud as you can, but you're interrupted by a stream of acid vomit. You aim for his eye, but it comes out a little lower than intended, and you practically split the monster in half.


He collapses a few moments later.
What do you do now?

[Satan From Wreck-It-Ralph]

take his bones and make a staff out of them

[Biohazard]

take his bones and make a staff out of them

The most suitable thing you find for a staff on him is one of his fingers. Fair enough. You tear it from his hand and clean it up a bit. This takes another hour or so, and night's fallen by now.

A perfect bone staff. Also posable.

[grunterdb1951]

Make a cowl out of his loincloth thing

[AutoBahn]

Make a spell that transforms people into clowns.

[Biohazard]

Make a cowl out of his loincloth thing

You tear the loincloth from his corpse and start to fashion a cowl. After another hour and a half, you've got your new attire. You slip it on.

Your name is not important. What is important is what you're going to do.

Make a spell that transforms people into clowns.

You sit down for another two hours and start scribbling in the tome book on an empty page. You have no way of knowing your spell works yet.
What now?

[Cheezballer]

Onwards to the castle!

[Biohazard]

Onwards to the castle!

You make your way to the castle which takes two more hours, and night has fully fallen by now.
You don't find any trouble when you arrive.

 You feel drained, but you made it.
What now?