The Book
Of
Florb
Praise to be Flodos
-Florbulious as draweth by El Bonero Quatro and some clouds (and maybe a moon (and maybe some other stuff)) by El Facer
This mighty book (or something that isn't a book) was
Written by Bones Fourlegs (now featuring a word or more than one word by Los Faceitos (and some heavy breathe (possibly some words) by killhamskiralissimo))
Transcribed By Hellboy
And El Facechillio Escobar was also there
“And he was okay”
-BonesIV
Artists’ rendition of mighty Flodos.
Illustrate by Face Chili
“In Begining”
1; In begining FLORB was2 with and yes. All the times very with and never much not with. Around3 and inside FLORB but also in other places, FLORB is everywhere a lot. And Florbulious was without Fleeborgs4 and the Gorgulons were upon all of FLORB and not FLORB. And FLORB said5, “Let there be Flarben.”
And on6 the fifth hedges, FLORB sent out and really sent out7 most of the FLORB cubes. And it was good. And then FLORB8 said, “let the Fleeborgs spin on the Flarben.” And it was pretty good. And then FLORB made9 Florboulions in his own picture. And then Florboulions sold fruit. And then FLORB saw10 everything that he did. And it was very not bad.
2; So then Florbulious was a thing and so was2 FLORB still. And on a different day than the other ones, there was a day was of sleeping3 and of not being awake, for if you are awake, sleep isn’t. And4 then FLORB made a little of himself, and it was a Florbulion. He5 was Flodam. And he launched Flodam into the big salad of oden.6 And in the salad was the big broccoli of being alive. And Flodam ate some of the salad. And it was pretty good. And then7 there were other things that weren’t Flodam and they got named.
And then the great FLORB in8 the sky took one of Flodam and mined his body for parts. He’eth found a part. FLORB did9 take a Fleebord from Flodam and totally turned that into a really smoking hot Florbulion10 named Fleeve. And Fleeve had less part than Flodam. Therefore there11 should be Fleeves and Flodams making smaller Fleeves and Flodams. And they were12 both naked, the Flodam and his Fleeve, and were not ashamed.
3; And then came2 the toothed worm who ate many mice and many mammals who are about the size of mice and many other mamm3al type things. The toothed worm say to Flodam “Hey man, try this crouton.” But then FLORB was say, “Do not eat of the crouton for it is cubular and in shape of me.” So Flodam was totally like, “okay you boss man.” How ever’eth, Fleeve, in her less part type ways, completely and definatly and really wanted the crouton. But she did not bite’th of into it. Then toothy worm, was say,”sup Fleeve, crutons taste like magic nd’ cupcakes4 nd’ stuff.” And Fleeve was like, “I would like that.” Then Fleeve pluck’ethd thy crouton from the broccoli beside the great Ranch River, in the Hidden Valley. And so Flodam looked’eth upon Fleeve eating thoust crouton. And said, “Bitch, make me dinner.”
And so Flodam mouth want crouton. And then5 great and mighty FLORB who sees almost all of the things and most of the croutons, but not all of the croutons, but defiantly more than half of the croutons. Said to Flodam and Fleeve, “Why shove Florbiddon crouton in mouth hole!? I am disappoint.”6 And now Fleeve realize’eth how much naked she is. And Flodam also realize that he was like, totally hanging out there. And atleast one quarter chub was popped.
And now the great FLORB in the sky (born through giant space C-Section in all his cubular glory), put his think thoughts of loveual babby time into the head movies of Fleeve and Flodam. And so Fleeve and Flodam was have to kill two wild Parscrouts for7 clothing reasons and raisins (to cover babby tools). Great FLORB was become anger. And he say’eth to Fleeve and Flodam, “Why dos thou eateth’eth the mystical crouton from the "not allowed to have" broccoli next to the Ranch River in the Hidden Vally, RAISON BEING that Florbulions not to have such thinky8 thoughts… Get out. And super smart FLORB in all his smartyness was kick Flodam and Fleeve out of big salad forever (At least a year).
-Here picture above being a wild Parscrout
4; OKAY! And so2 Fleeve with her body-cavern hath create another (not the original) Florbulion. She hath use body, uh, things to create most of Fleebob with the assistance of above FLORB and Flonos too (also from body cave).
Fleebob was haver of Parscrouts, Flonos was3 hedging (and clipping) of Florbulios dirt granules. For some reason Fleebob was angry’eth and FLORB told him to “totally chill out.” But Fleebob was much anger and would not listen to reasons (or raisins). This being the bad thing that Fleebob was about to do. Fleebob was take wild Parscrout catching tool and smack Flonos until very much not alive. Flonos was die. This was be first recorded incident of “Anger Shanking.”4 And then FLORB said, “Don’t hit Fleebob.” And then Fleebob ran away into the land of Agree forever and ever (atleast two years).
Fleebob was give birthings to Flordan who in turn make loveual babby5 time and popped out Flederick and Flobert who had taken wives and give birth to Flovius and Flowsion and Floobles they also took multiple Florbulion wives and maked babby and those babbies were Flort and Fleggory and Florton as well as Floton and Flort and Florg, who gave birth with wives to Flert, Floyan,6 Flortimer, Flortholomew and Floyt.
6; Florbulion ha’th2 do bad thing. FLORB much upset. FLORB feel a lot and much of trouble. And decide to chose and single and only one Florbulion but no more than three, but still less than two. This chose one be name Floah. And FLORB tell words at Floah, “You are like pretty chill, soooo I got plans for you nd’ stuff. Keep your ear open. Dog.”
Floah and the Floode
Here story is of Floah. And family of said Floah that3 we’re talking about. Floah, uh, Floah was look good to FLORB. Uhhhhh, he was not of be blame and had three small Florbulions beneath him. Their name be, Flem, Flam, Flapheth. Now Florbulios was bad stuff in FLORB’s vision time, it was full of hurty times. FLORB was look at badness that Florbulios land hath’th be. For all Florbulions on Florbulios had badness did their selves. So FLORB said to Floah, “I am4 be smack all Florbulion for Florbulios am fill with hurty times because reasons and raisins. It will be surely brake they and Florbulios because they are.” So poot together a floaty wood of duct tape and old pizza boxes (not Dominos, for Dominos hath promote the Noid(#bringbackthenoid)). When make5 the large floaty travel item, it need rooms for to hold things and other things (hedgers and clippers (and Parscrouts)).
Fleeblewart - A small rodent like elephant sized herbavoir that only eats only meat.
Floaty thing is to be 0.2000 florbits long, fifty6 and one sixty-fifth quadzillion florbits wide and thirty (+/-.000000003) quadzillion florbits up down. Make an up part for it consist of no name brand Kleenex boxes. Make put “walkthrough wall on hinge” from snot away Kleenex box (but not the real snot2). And make down platform down but not as less down platform not as much7 down platform sort of down platform sort of middle grounded down platform and up platform asswell but inbetween up platform and no so much down platform put another platform and then add more platforms. And these platform be mix of cardboard old pizzabox asswell ass duct8 tape and snot away (not the real snot2) and cover everything in molasses.
FLORB am going bring liquid water9s on the Florbulios and destroy all everything an-and other things too. Every Florbulion that hast thou eateth, of air every will died. Okay uhh… Floah, with other Florbulions (not too many but a few) will passage onto10 floaty object. FLORB say (with words), “You ares’t thou to bring thy’eth small numbers of things (but no more than two at the same time and definatly more than one): twice of Parscrout, less than three but more than one kind of named things that am also eat air, every not dead and still alive thing that crawl’eth on Florbulion granules11 will poot their way towards you and be kept in situation of no die. Thou art need’eth all and definatly most (but all though) food thing that has be eaten and go ahead and toss it aboard the big float boat.”
Float situation features platforms (cardboard pizza (12.3% snot-away pieces))
Floah was do all of the things but not12 some of the things but all of the most of the things but not only a few of the most of the things but certainly more than half the some of the things and most defiantly not more than 100% of the things and defiantly higher than 99% of most of the things and Floah was do al13l of the everything including previous statement as FLORB was tell him do things and do. This will things forever (at least 40 days)
7; And FLORB word make to Floah, “Come into cardboard boa2t you and all of you and all of your things and all of your entire house, because me [FLORB] think you are pretty all right among maybe twenty or thirty Florbulion. You be bring with you seventeen quadzillion of every STD free animal, 3the dude bits and the lady bits. And then thirteen quadzillion STD ridden animal, an all part and an almost all part but with less part. And also four and three quarters of every fly thing in air skys. Dude and not dude so that all of these aminals can make loveual babby time and make other aminals on Florbulios face. And also the swimmy dudes who can’t breathe air because raisins. 4 For in a certain number of cube spins of Florbulion so for in a certain number of cube spins on Florbulion world I wall cause wet features to go down from up on Florbulion dirt granules for a big number of light times and also a big number of dark times. And I will make die of all the not yet d5ie things that pooted from my brain.” And yes Floah did it all that stuff that FLORB hath made’eth him’eth do’eth.
Floah was like really really REALLY old now w6hen liquid sploosh covered Florbulios. Floah was go in giant cardboard pizza box boat with his full grown babbys and his smokin’ slam. And his full grown babbys’s smokin’ hot slams because reason liquid sploosh happen. More than one but less than three of STD free aminals of STD ridden aminals of flappys and7 of all thing that writhe on dirt granules. Man part and lady part came into pizza box boat to Floah just as FLORB was has tell do him. And after much cube spin, 8the liquid sploosh was cover entire of Florbulios.
9After a few quadzillion cube spins of Floahs being alive time, in second galaxian cycle and on the seventeeth cube spin of the galaxian cycle. On that cube spin all of the liquid shooter/catchers that are down low low somewhere open’eth an liquid features of the FLORB time where let go. And then certain (but not that 10certain) slightly wet features fell from up to down on Florbulion dirt granules for quite a few cube spins (for brighter dark times).
On that precise cube spin, Floah entered the cardboard pizza box11 boat that he was already on. In the company of his full grown babby sons Flem Flam and Flapheth and their smokin’ hot slams. They again the thing that they were already on along with every not dead (but sometimes dead but not really because they were on a boat). And then Flapheth said’eth to Floah,”dude we are already here.” And then from then he put every non dead aminal (alive things(named things)) 12that was already here. Every writhing festering flab of a parscrout, every dirt granule coated fleeblewart and every flying dude bird thing with the wings that fly and all those other dudes that totally breathe air with their chest vacuums, those that entered the place that they 13were already in had parts and less parts just as FLROB said that one time.
This being of swimming dudes that can't breath airs. so only some of them was be bring onto float boat.
Then the FLORB totally shut the door on him and14 locked up the bitch. The flood (uh, what was it, uhhh, OH! Uuh, liquid coatings) was like really REALLY deep on Florbulios for like a whole ton of cube spins. As walters raise, they in turn make float boat the cardboard pizza box boat and make float it above the dirt granules. The liquid features like totally 15and almost all of the everys maximum overfeel Florbulios and the float boat was do just that. On top of liquid features, the liquid 16features totally and completely and really cover Florbulios so that even all tippy top rocks under entire airs was cover asswell.
Wet things go high more than a lot of high above giant17 (extremely big) mounds and heaps of Florbulion granules. And all live things that were not of yet to be die that moved on Florbulios was die much including living aircraft, aminals of which that roamed and graized and definitely roamed all the Florbulious creatures and things that did their things on Florbuilous 18and all Florbulions too were of be die (also). Everything that was a thing on dry dirt granules that have use of Florbulion gas19 properties in its nose squares for of breathing. So yes the FLORB art thou destroy’eth every alive thing still again that were also still of being alive yet again. Anything that do exist on dirt granules much to include Florbulions, named things, not die20 things (yet) that scoot along the dirt granules and living airplanes. They were much kill. Floah, his main squeeze, and his not so small babbys were around him “but none inside” him and were in the top 21of water station. The liquid uhh, features remodeled Florbulion for a few quadzillion cube spins (at least 4 years).
