Here's something that I know about depression and social anxiety, having dealt with it before on multiple occasions.
The reality of the depression, anxiety and BPD is very much real to those who experience it. However, one thing that I did to overcome it, and continue to do to overcome it is to separate what is happening in a black and white way in the world, and what is happening in one's mind.
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Now I personally believe that I suffer from the same things to a somewhat lesser degree, but my dad is a psychologist and he believes that most diagnoses in these areas are BS. For the record, I do not entirely agree with him, nor do I draw my conclusions from him or any clinical shrink, but from dealing with my own issues firsthand.
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I do not personally believe in the world as completely black and white. There are the objective truths, but because we observe the universe through our own perceptions it says that our world is different from one person to the next. These gray areas concern opinions, philosophy, religion, self-image, social interaction, ethics, morals, and more; the list goes on. For instance, one might interpret a stare as being judged or hated, but in reality, they could be simply spacing out and happen to be looking at you. They might be just thinking to themselves. Even if they are judging you or hating on you in their mind, it all boils down to "What does it matter?" I don't like when people judge or misjudge me—I hate it actually—and I find that the best thing to do is to shrug it off. Their opinion of you is their gray area, and it is a world known only to them. To be paranoid and make presumptions of others' perceptions is jumping the gun. They don't know you. They don't understand you. Don't let other people define you.
Furthermore, I also dealt with a scrambled self-image as well. Whenever I would fail, I would often credit my failure to my character and myself as a person. Frankly, the best way to get out of this is to realize that people forgive. People can be willing to let go of their own perceptions of you given that you turn yourself around. Depression, while I believe is a diagnosable problem, is almost a convenience. It allows the depressed person to say "I am depressed, and therefore this behavior is okay." Frankly I believe that's BS. Using that excuse itself not only facilitates a repeating pattern of depression, but also actively perpetuates it. Furthermore, what part of depression in the first part is okay? Depression should never be accepted as something complimentary to a stage in life, or a lens through which life is more or less lived. To accept things as you see them is to accept defeat, and I don't see you as a person who is defeated.
You sent that rose, perhaps on impulse, but I don't believe that such an act with good intention required no amount of bravery. To me, it sounds like you have the potential to be a very assertive and at the same time sensitive person. Hiding behind the "conditions" that you have is only selling yourself short.
