tell jokes you know

[Bomb Kirby]

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about freedom?

Because freedom rings.

[Ad Bot]

[Pie Crust]

An engineer, a physicist and a statistic are building a cannon to hit the target.

The engineer misses by 5m. The physicist misses by -5m. The statistic yells "BULLSEYE!".
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender tells him "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here". He doesn't react.

[Xhozer]

2 scientists walk in to a bar. the first orders H20 and the second one orders H202. The second one dies.

[snot2]

sonic boom

[Comatose]

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

[punchline] Just the people who were in charge of that decision. [/punchline]

[The Resonte!]

why did they call back then the dark ages?

because there were a lot of KNIGHTS

[joe411]

How do you make a one-armed man fall out of a tree?

Wave at him.

[Pie Crust]

-I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
-When chemists die, they barium.
-Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
-How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
-I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
-This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
-I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
-I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
-They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
-PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.
-I posted 10 puns on an online forum hoping one would make the users laugh but no pun in-ten-did!

[Obliviongate20]

how do you catch a stoner?
you weed em' out

what diseases do rich people often get?
stockholders syndrome

a man had to get a "ball" removed, now he's only half the man he used to be

[TrollBoat]

why couldn't todd get out of the shower

he was dead

[Im_AFK]

what do frogs sit on

toadstools

what does tarzan use to open his locked door

a monKEY

[Skig²]

I recently heard this one

This guy bought his wife a car for Christmas. She hated it saying, "I want something that can do 0-200 in 3 seconds." So the guy returned the car and bought his wife a bathroom scale instead. 

[Pie Crust]

lol, #1 way to end up on the street.

[TableSalt]

Knock knock.
(The joke is that there is none)

[Tom060197]

Why did Sally fall off the swing,
because she had no arms.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?

Not Sally.

What did Sally get for Christmas?

Don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.


Why did princess Diana cross the road?

She forgot to put on her seatbelt.


A baby seal walks into a club...