Let's Play X-COM Long War

[tber123]

Click here if you want to submit a name/soldier for use in this Let's Play.

I'm UN Official Peter Van Doorn, and I've been forcibly abducted rescued by X-COM. My life changed forever.

FLASHBACK


Soldiers Attending: Sniopeh GoodJob, handicap Convention, Highway Robbery, Wei Shen
Tank Operators: Wilson(Tank: BITCH-3), Revolver Rookie(Tank:MAGNUM-4CE)



handicap Convention: So..... These aliens are clearly superior to us in technology, and they still haven't enslaved us and forced probes up our asses?
Highway Robbery: Now is not the time for questions! We go in fast, we rescue the UN Official, and we enslave recruit him for X-COM!



Revolver Rookie: GOGOGO!
Wilson: Heavy Weapons Platforms/Tanks are all X-COM needs, do you know how many loving kills I've stolen with this godamn thing?



Sniopeh GoodJob: Do you think the aliens have Janitors where they live? Place is a mess.



Highway Robbery: GREY ALIEN SPOTTED! BLAST IT!
handicap Convention: I never learned how to shoot straight past 5 centimeters!



Sniopeh GoodJob: These rifles were obviously made by the lowest bidder! X-COM's tradition of stuffty ballistic weaponry never changes! Just like 1994, first time the aliens attacked!
handicap Convention: What the hell are you talking about now?
Highway Robbery: Both of you two, shut up. We've got grey bastards to explode!


handicap Convention: Atleast the sawn-off shotguns are decent. What idiot decided to make them have a capacity of only one round, though? Where the forget is my double barrel shotgun?



Wilson: Taking fire! Those bastards are prioritizing the HWP!


That's me, taking cover behind a car while bullets are flying and aliens are dying.



Wilson: Look at all these godamn kills I'm stealing with the Heavy Weapons Platform!



Lucky for me, the aliens were too busy shooting my saviors to even notice me.



This fateful moment is where things changed forever. The instant I stepped on the plane, I became an X-COM recruit against my will.

MEANWHILE



Sniopeh GoodJob: Sweet Jesus, these sniper rifles are seriously underpowered.



Wei Shen: You aren't shooting them in the head noob.





I was expecting to be taken to a US Army base or something, but instead I was taken to a oversized underground bunker and forced into working for a group that calls themselves X-COM. X-COM's role is to combat the alien invasion, and there is some shadowy conspiracy stuff.



This is going to be one long war against the aliens.

Yes, Peter Van Doorn actually joins X-COM if you rescue him in the Long War modification.

[Ad Bot]

[tber123]

Soldier Applications(Only a name is required)
Name: First/Nickname/Last ex. John "Deadbeat" Doe This is the only required thing.

Role:Assault/Infantry/Rocketeer/Gunner/Sniper/Scout/Medic/Engineer/Don't Care Training Roulette is ON! Skill trees are partially randomized!

Tank Operator? Select this if you want a SHIV named after you. We have a VERY limited number of SHIVs/Tanks though.

Am I allowed to Gene Mod/MEC conversion/Psionic/Officer your soldier? Not everyone is okay with their submitted soldier being forcibly amputated&turned into a MEC Trooper. Also, Officers can't become Psionic and vice versa.

Preferred Gender: Male/Female
PEOPLE TO ADD (I only add you in once I have a generic soldier ready to rename and be promoted to that role):
none
TANK OPERATORS TO ADD
none
UPDATES(click to view. Personally recommended updates for viewing will stand out from the rest.)
Update 1) Peter Van Doorn: A Let's Play of X-COM with Long War mod (This page)
Update 2) Spraying And Praying (This page)
Update 3) The Mighty X-COM Commander (This page)
4) Stormtrooper Aim (This page)
5) Probing the aliens and massacring the Thin Men(This page)
6) 500 Memes Legacy (This page)
7) Save scumming and Wei Shen stealing all the kills
8) EXALT
9) Floating Tentacles
10) Operation Vengeful Hero
11) Lets all go to china
12) Lone Knife
13) Operation Tutorial/Operation Mind forget
14) Operation Chryssalid Zerg Rush/Operation Chryssalid Rape Fest
15) A Very Long War
16) Terrorism and Espionage
17) Operation Flying Tears
18) Operation Noob Herder
19) The Great EXALT Massacre
20) Tonight Someone Dies
21) Almost Total Party Kill
22) All SHIVs on Deck!
23) Damned Dams and Bloodthirsty Frenchies
24) Alien Bank Robbery
25) In Memory of Koto "Thief" Toshiko
26) April Fools Special:Sky Pirates
27) Cyberdiscs and Drones
28) Tactical Retreat
29) Hack the Encoder and Run
30) Battle of the Cemetery
31) All Engineers On Deck!
32) Unnatural Selection
33) Hostage Rescue
34) Operation Lost Crone
35) Operation Dying Justice
36) The Return Of Van Doorn
37) X-COM's first MEC, and the asskicking of the Aliens
38) Lee Hanson Saves The Day
39) The Raid
40) Operation Falling Sleep: The Death Of Lee Hanson
41) From EXALT with Grenade Spam
42) Resturant Liberation
43) Tentacles, Mutons, and Mechs
44) The Great Massacre, Part 1
45) The Great Massacre, part 2
46) Subway Terror
47) An Egyptian Chinatown
48)
49)
50)

[grunterdb1951]

The return of Lee Hanson.

Role shall be Engineer.

I mean if you wanna make him a tank operator go ahead

You can turn him into whatever the hell you want.

Liberty Prime, if not possible Male.

Why do I wanna join? Because my wife took everything from me after I drop kicked my dog for stuffting on the carpet during the divorce.

My backstory's up there bruv.

[Nicepoint]

Nooble "The Noble"

Class: Sniper

I can be officer and psionic. Also male plz.

I wanna join cause teh aliens took my job!!!!
(srs I kinda live on earth and I wanna fight for our planet)

[tber123]

Spraying and Praying

The return of Lee Hanson.

Role shall be Engineer.

I mean if you wanna make him a tank operator go ahead

You can turn him into whatever the hell you want.

Liberty Prime, if not possible Male.

Why do I wanna join? Because my wife took everything from me after I drop kicked my dog for stuffting on the carpet during the divorce.

My backstory's up there bruv.

Can't add, we only have one female engineer so far.

Nooble "The Noble"

Class: Sniper

I can be officer and psionic. Also male plz.

I wanna join cause teh aliens took my job!!!!
(srs I kinda live on earth and I wanna fight for our planet)

Added.

While I was being forced to train for X-COM, the interceptors splashed a UFO.




Soldiers Attending: Godamn Terrorist, MANOSUKE, 3 redshirts
Tank Operators: Wilson



MANOSUKE: Okay everyone, go on overwatch. I hear movement, but I can't see hostiles.



Rookie: Its a grey alien! Fire! I don't want a probe shoved up my ass!
Wilson: Godamn rookies can't shoot for stuff! Ha!



MANOSUKE: Guns always fail, but grenades always do the trick!



Rookie: Found another alien! I think we should call it an "Outsider!"



Wilson: If Kill Stealing was a crime, I would have been executed years ago! X-COM should just buy more tanks!
Rookie: Actually, its called a SHIV, or Super Heavy Infantry Vehicle.



MANOSUKE: Battle Scanner is up! Light those bastards up!



Wilson: Damn Sectoids are mind merging! Shoot the one doing the mind merging to kill them both!



Wilson: TAKING FIRE!



Rookie 2: Smoke out!



Wilson: Hurry up and learn to shoot straight, fast! The tank is being sniped!

6 seconds of rookies spraying and praying later



Rookie 2: Spray and pray always works! See that, Wilson?



Everyone came back home alive, and the X-COM Commander promoted a few people. Although something was fishy.....


Tim Hudson was a soldier I got to know before the mission started.


Now he calls himself Nooble The Noble. Is the Commander brainwashing everyone?

[tber123]

The Mighty X-COM Commander

What the hell is wrong with these X-COM guys? There is a godamn religon revolving around the "X-COM Commander". S/He gets worshipped on a daily basis, and people believe s/he is psychic and has the ability to quicksave/quickload.


My first "real" mission with X-COM starts now. I've been given a rocket launcher and a Battle Rifle, but the downside is that I can barely move.


Soldiers Attending: Van Doorn, Cheeki Breeki, Sniopeh GoodJob, 2 redshirts
SHIV Operators: Revolver Rookie and the MAGNUM-4CE



Van Doorn: Anyone else hear the aliens in the distance?



Van Doorn: Hostiles spotted! Somebody shoot them!



Rookie: Taking fire! I'm pinned down!



Sniopeh GoodJob: One can of "Boom, HEADSHOT!" coming up.



This was the first time I ever killed something larger than a spider right here. Sectoid comes running around the corner and in a panic I open fire, managing to shoot it in the eyes.



Sniopeh GoodJob: Should have used a Red Ryder BB Gun to shoot his eyes out, General!



End Result: All aliens slaughtered, no X-COM deaths



After the mission ended, I also delved deeper into the insanity of the X-COM base. The Commander refuses to buy a second Skyranger and only lets six soldiers on it because we don't have a Officer Training School. X-COM has 60-ish soldiers and they all get to twiddle their thumbs.


The end of the month is here, and the Council Of Funding Nations gives X-COM more funding.


X-COM suffers the loss of it's first pilot right as a new month begins.


More alien abductions are reported. Time to suit up, I guess.

[Rigel]

Role: Assault (Gotta get me some shotguns!)
Tank Operator? Engrave my name onto a S.H.I.V. if I die or do something bad-ass.
Am I allowed to Gene Mod/MEC conversion/Psionic/Officer your soldier? Only Psionics or Officer, please. I wish to remain physically normal.
Preferred Gender: Male

Reason for joining X-COM?
"Crash site appears to be sparsely populated."

Only populated by one Rigel Hernandez that was taking a nap in the woods. Was taken into X-COM after punching a sectoid in the face before running into the middle of a battle-field and dodging 3 alien's reaction shots.

[tber123]

Stormtrooper Aim

[/b]

[FOOTAGE MISSING: UFO Shot down in the woods, abduction of Rigel]
There was a ufo crash site near a cabin in the woods, and Manosuke finds some nutjob running around punching Sectoids in the face and running through plasma fire. Command decided to abduct him, too. He is now a tank operator that carries a shotgun.


Lee Hanson's Tank, Wilson, redshirt, Redshirt Medic, Sniopeh Goodjob, Cheeki Breeki attending

Next mission comes around shortly after. The Commander caught Wilson and the Medic jousting with SHIVs, and forced them to come along for this mission.



Redshirt: Good lord, TENTACLES!
Medic: Avoid those tentacles and don't get strangled to death!
Sniopeh GoodJob: We should ask the Japanese rookies if they like it. Also, I think we just interrupted a loveual favor between two aliens.



BANGBANGBANG FWOOSH FWOOSH FWOOSH BANG HEADSHOT BOOM ALIEN DEATH SCREAM BULLETS BLOOD BAMBABMABMABABABAM



Cheeki Breeki: SUKA!
*Shotguns a Floater*



Command finally decides to start researching some better weapons, and a rookie discovers that Sectoids are actually really tasty.



A few more days worth of missions pass, and the Commander hires new recruits to replace some guys nicknamed "500 Memes" and "501 Memes". Autopsy report says they were both blasted in the groin.


Research on the Arc Thrower finishes, which means we can finally tase the aliens and throw them in Dr. Vahlen's Torture Chamber the Alien Containment facility.



Fulfill a country request in Long War, and they can resist panic. This is a nice feature.


Eventually, I got called for another mission.
Soldiers attending: Van Doorn, Heavy Weapons Gay, Bromancer, Talia
Tank Operators: Lee Hanson, Revolver Rookie


Talia:Let's go! MOVEMOVEMOVE!



*BZZZT*
Outsider alien stunned!


Revolver Rookie: Alien's down, capture the last survivor!


Bromancer: Where the heck do you think YOU'RE GOING? Don't make me tase you!

*BZZT*



Dr. Vahlen: I honestly have no idea what this thing is.
Dr Shen: Its an antenna.

Next Update: Probing the aliens and massacring Thin Men

Edit: I mispelled Heavy Weapons Guy and Necromancer when I was naming the soldiers, oops.

[tber123]

Probing the aliens and massacring Thin Men

Revolver Rookie's Magnum 4-CE, Van Doorn, Git Gud, Lee Hanson, Pyro Rookie, Wei Shen attending this mission.



Pyro Rookie: Battle scanner is up, don't get yourselves killed now.



The HWP detected some Sectoids and Thin Men on a rooftop....



Alien Drones started swarming us.....



...And Wei Shen here went on a rampage with the sniper rifle.



Lee Hanson: Area clear. Command, I think thats the last of them.



When we came home, there were promotions for everyone.



Dr. Vahlen gained a reputation for being a torture technician right after the alien interrogation ended.



Scientist 1: Grey aliens do exist after all. The movies were right.
Scientist 2: Dr. Vahlen, how exactly are we going to interrogate this thing?



Sectoid: <What the hell is this? What are you earthlings doing to me?>



Sectoid: <OH GOD NO.>



End result: 10 days of waterboarding, rectal hydration, and shoving a probe into the sectoids brain and killing it.

[Rigel]

Focus on capturing thin-men and putting sats on south america.

Instant autopsies and reduced space research time is amazing.

[tber123]

500 Memes Legacy

Soldiers: handicap Convention, loving 69 Memes, aay stfu, redshirt medic, another nameless redshirt



aay stfu: HELP. IM SURROUNDED.



BzzZZZZZZZTFWOOOM



aay stfu: BLARGH IM HIT AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaagggh......... ...



Redshirt: Are you serious? I missed at point blank range?



handicap Convention: I'm okay! Hurry up and capture the Thin Man!



69 Memes: SAY GOODNIGHT TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!

BZZZZZZZT



69 Memes: WOO! First kill!



69 Memes: Floaters! Incoming!



handicap Convention: INCOMING PLASM--- *FWOSH* It....Burns.....



redshirt medic: Rub some dirt on it, ya wimp!



69 Memes: AAARRRGH NOT THE BALLS NO.
Rigel: They killed 69 memes! Someone punch that floater in the face!



handicap Convention: He's too high up to punch in the face, so I'll just shotgun him. How come aliens get jetpacks and we don't?



Two good soldiers were lost on this operation. Both of them rookies on their first mission.

[Rigel]

I did good.

Especially since my SHIV took no damage! Perhaps we should invest on placing robotic arms on Hover SHIVs to punch them floaters in the face.

[Decepticon]

wheres george washington

or was it george w bush

[Juncoph]

discover meld

[tber123]

Terrorism

Terror missions. Good lord, TERROR MISSIONS. New alien tactic. Directly attack civilians and wait for X-COM to come, then slaughter them all.



Meanwhile in Washington, DC



RASL: Ohgodohgogohgod NO nonononono NO NO NO HELP SOMEONE.



RASL: This can't be happening this can't be happening
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot(Guy on the right): forget the world, I'm dying anyways, time to party!



RASL: Cmon you idiot, RUN!
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: Hey! Quit dragging me!

*FWOOSH*



*BOOM*



handicapped Civilian: This is obviously fake like the moon landings and 9/11, and I know for damn sure that vaccines cause autis---



BOOM
handicapped Civilian: GYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!



RASL: Cmon man, STAY WITH ME!



RASL: You're safe. They can't hurt us here---



RASL: HOLYstuff SPIDERS.













God help us all.

Next Update: X-Com's first terror mission