Let's Play X-COM Long War

[grunterdb1951]

They attacked AMERICA?

Send Lee in. He'll forget them right up.

[Ad Bot]

[Rigel]

Abandon cover, make distance between yourself and the enemy!

DO NOT APPROACH CHRYSSALIDS WHILE YOU STILL HAVE BALLISTICS

[tber123]

Save Scumming and Wei Shen stealing all the kills

Soldiers: Sniopeh GoodJob, Van Doorn, Wei Shen, Revolver Rookie, a nameless redshirt in blue, Highway Robbery

Lee Hanson was unable to make it due to being tased and interrogated because of accientally tripping Dr. Vahlen. Naturally, Dr. Vahlen herself is interrogating Lee Hanson. And probably waterboarding him.



Highway Robbery: LETS DO THIS! CHARGE!
Van Doorn: Slow and steady wins the war.



Van Doorn: Good god! What is that?



redshirt: HELP. SURROUNDED.

---Several reloaded save files later---



Van Doorn: I'm not going down without a fight!



Wei Shen: Nice shot, Sniopeh.



Wei Shen: Now its my turn to kick ass.

*BEWM*



Wei Shen: Now THAT is how you do it!



Revolver Rookie: Capturing!



Revolver Rookie: More hostiles, take them out first.




Wei Shen: You got it.



redshirt: Tell the Doc we're bringing home a live one!

BZZZZZZT



Highway Robbery: More floaters incoming! KILL THEM ALL!



RASL: Help! I've got wounded with me! Just barely escaped a bunch of purple spiders!
Highway Robbery: You think we can abduct recruit these guys too?
Wei Shen: Go for it. We need more meatshields Rookies.
MEANWHILE

Revolver Rookie: Civilian down! The floaters are massacring them!



Van Doorn: Cmon, you bastards!



redshirt: You think you can shoot me and be done with it?



redshirt: Eat that!



redshirt: Oh crap, more floaters. Not Enough Time Units!



redshirt: OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGO---

FWOOM FWOOM FWOOM



Highway Robbery: Sucks to be her.



redshirt: I'm still alive and this thing is suppressing me! That floater had a perfectly good shot and he blows away a civilian instead!



Revolver Rookie: Going in for the kill.



More promotions were passed around, and we... forcibly abducted two of the civvies we rescued.



Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and RASL are now forcibly serving X-COM, just like me.



The Commander finally got around to updating the memorial, too.



Next update: EXALT

[the hacker]

So I was sitting at my desk, marveling at the box for the Elder Scrolls anthology when tber sends me a Steam message asking me to come up with a name for someone vowing revenge. So I looked straight up:

And that's how RASL got his name.

[Juncoph]

make RASL a MEC

[tber123]

make RASL a MEC

Haven't researched meld yet


Soldiers attending: Cheeki Breeki, MANOSUKE, Talia, Van Doorn
SHIVs: Wilson's BITCH-3, Rigel's PAWN-5CH

A french military convoy was attacked by terrorists, and then the aliens showed up....



Cheeki Breeki: What the hell? Miss at point blank range?



Cheeki Breeki: There's a bunch of dead terrorists over here, and the Thin Man that massacred them all!



Wilson: Stealing all the kills as usual. Ha.



Van Doorn: This is for my men, you alien bastards!



Rigel: The SHIV is almost crippled!



Rigel: Found a survivor? What do we do with him?
MANOSUKE: We're going to send that terrorist to Guantamo Bay and waterboard him.



Van Doorn: They're dropping from the skies! Fire!



Rigel: Taking fire!



Rigel: Dr. Vahlen is going to have fun interrogating him, I bet.



MANOSUKE: Finish off the rest of these aliens and we can all go home!



Talia: Soldier down! Anyone got a medkit?



Van Doorn: Say hello to the rest of my men!



Talia: I don't think "Cheeki Breeki" is going to make it!



MANOSUKE: T-This is too much! We need to evac NOW, damn it!
Wilson: I have to do everything myself now?



Wilson: Point blank euthanasia coming up because the rest of you pussies can't do a simple thing.













Next update: Floating Tentacles

[Rigel]

Japan?
Tentacles?

This gon' be gud.

Also, how come my soldier hasn't gotten in on the action? I mean, I appreciate him being kept alive within the base, but I'd just like to know.

[the hacker]

make RASL a MEC

Holy stuff I never even thought of that.

[tber123]

Tentacle Rape Fest Floating Tentacles

Japan?
Tentacles?

This gon' be gud.

Also, how come my soldier hasn't gotten in on the action? I mean, I appreciate him being kept alive within the base, but I'd just like to know.

60 soldiers on the roster, and Rigel is conveniently next on the soldier rotation.


Soldiers: Rigel, Wilson, Lee Hanson(Tank Operator), 500 Laowais, Wei Shen, George Washington(Genderbent and given a race lift)

Did X-COM seriously abduct a genderbent and black George Washington? Whats next? Andrew Jackson? Lincoln? Bush? Obama? Kennedy?



Lee Hanson: Landing zone is clear. Move out.



Wilson: Ssssh, you guys hear that? Those alien canisters are nearby! Let's go get them!



Wilson: The forget? Floating tentacles? We should use the Japanese rookies as bait! Heh!



Wei Shen: Watch and learn, Rigel. This is how you shoot a gun straight.



Wilson: These stuffty guns are WEAK. Can't X-COM get some higher caliber weaponry?



500 Laowais: George Washington is down! They shot the President!



Rigel: WHY, GOD, WHY?



Wei Shen: HOLY SHI----



Wei Shen: HELP.
Rigel: I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.



Wilson: Get up, you wimp!



Lee Hanson: This tank won't last much longer!



500 Laowais: Another live capture for Dr. Vahlen.



Wilson: Holy mother of---



Wilson: BLARGH.

Wait a minute, thats not what really happened.



The Floater actually opened fire on 500 Laowais instead, instantly killing her.



And Wei had to bail us out by sniping the hostiles.



Rigel: Battle scanner is up, the aliens will never see us coming in to punch them.



Rigel: Gotta get that Meld!

*FWOOSH*



Rigel: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!
Wilson: Its an ambush! Eat lead, you m----



*FWOOSH*
One reloaded save file later



Wilson: Nothing wrong with you that a critical hit to the eyes won't fix.



Wilson: Where do you think you're going, you grey bastard?
*BLAM*



Rigel: Awesome, a shotgun!



Dr. Vahlen finally finished having her "fun" interrogating/torturing the Sectoid we captured. She shoved a probe into it's brain and read the signals it broadcasted before it died.



Researching MELD because we need to turn RASL into a MEC.



Laser weaponry? Science Fiction becomes even more of a reality.



Randomly selected quote from Things X-COM Operatives Are No Longer Allowed To Do, an extremely hilarious list from Reddit and Space Battles
73. The Skyranger is a top secret, cutting edge, incredibly agile, supersonic troop transport capable of getting X-COM Operatives anywhere within the globe in a matter of hours. Stop requesting its deployment for the sake of ‘real’ Chinese food.

[Decepticon]

I LOVE IT

washington is here to avenge her/his great friend, Elvis.

[Rigel]

Get me some booze and laser rifles, the shotgun can wait!

Because ballistics suck.

[tber123]

Operation Vengeful Hero

Van Doorn, Sniopeh Goodjob, redshirt medic(he has no name), Pyro Rookie, Heavy Weapons Guy attending this mission.



redshirt medic: Stay frosty!



Pyro Rookie: Battle scanner is up!



Sniopeh GoodJob: I still want my jetpack.



*BOOM HEADSHOT 2X IN A ROW*



Van Doorn: You aren't killing my men!



Heavy Weapons Guy: Look at all that energy!



*BZZZZZZZZT*



Sniopeh GoodJob: Floating tentacles? Thats just wrong. Proceeding to snipe that abomination!
redshirt medic: They better not target the minority first.



Pyro Rookie: Gotta get that Meld!



redshirt medic: GODAMN IT---- *choke*



Van Doorn: Target down!



The nameless Medic on our team has been given a new nickname: Cargo.



Any of you guys got any more names to submit? And what should we rename the Medic shown above?

Things X-COM Operatives Are Not Allowed To Do, a hilarious list from Space Battles and Reddit
9. Dressing up as Chryssalids, Chryssalid Zombies, Ethereals, Mutons and/or variants thereof is ABSOLUTELY PROHIBITED during Halloween.

[Rigel]

Name the medic

"Doctor Krieger"

[the hacker]

Name the medic

"Doctor Krieger"

[tber123]

Let's All go to China

I finally found out the name of the base Medic. Nobody bothered to learn his name until he got promoted to Corporal.


You know who Command just abducted/recruited? Elvis loving Presley. Except genderbent. What the hell?



Dr Vahlen confirmed for sadist. (Top right corner)
Meanwhile, in the Laboratory...


Dr. Vahlen finally finished researching the mysterious substance from the alien canisters.


X-COM needs MEChs that run around punching aliens in the face.



They can also carry miniguns and flamethrowers.



We have the power of science and genetic engineering.



Being able to leap buildings and immunity to mind control.
What the hell is this thing called, again?
We decided to call it Meld.


X-COM finally gets a paycheck.....


...And theres aliens in Brazil.


Soldiers attending: RASL, Rigel, redshirt(Tank Operator), Heavy Weapons Guy, Highway Robbery, Git Gud



The only interesting thing I managed to capture was a car exploding and killing almost everyone. Heavy Weapons Guy lit the car he was taking cover behind on fire when he killed a floater. BS.



Wei Shen was promoted to one of X-COM's first Officers.


OPERATION LONE KNIFE
Soldiers: Van Doorn, Wei Shen, Sniopeh GoodJob, Heavy Weapons Guy, Dr. Krieger, Revolver Rookie


Things X-COM Operatives are not allowed to do, a list from Space Battles and Reddit
167. Seeing a squadmate being strangled by a Seeker should draw retaliatory fire, not comments of ‘I’ve seen enough anime to know where this is going’.