Cualli sees the knife and her mind immediately flashes back to when Arkhip was stabbed in Moratov. For a split second she feels a pang of longing, but immediately reminds herself that she's in this situation because of him.
"Because I was the only one who wasn't a loving cunt to him," Cualli retorts, raising her voice and practically spitting at Virvel. "You want to blame him leaving on me, but I was probably the only loving reason he saw to stay." Cualli's voice cracks at the admission, and the pang of longing returns. She takes a shaky breath.
"If I knew anything about what he was going to do, believe me, I would have tried to stop him. I wish I'd known," she says, the sound of defeat creeping into her voice.
"You want to stab me?" Cualli holds her arms out to the side, nodding to Virvel's knife. "loving do it. I don't give a stuff anymore. Bleeding out on the floor will sure as hell beat whatever else command is going to try to put me through because of that starfish."