Cualli watches the scene in awe. She would have never dreamed of her military service coming to this. "Just think, Elu, that could've been us," she says softly. With her eyes fixed on the aftermath of the explosion, Cualli offers a silent prayer of thanks to the gods above, thanking them for allowing her and Elu to get out safely.
And what about the hundreds of servicemen and women that just died on that carrier? The people who weren't as lucky as you, who were shot by those engineers, who died in the explosion, who will plummet to their death? They had families. Unlike you, they had people in their lives, they had direction in their lives. And you didn't do anything to help them. It's a heavy thought. What have they done for you to make them deserve your help? Besides, there's nothing you could have done for them.
Selfish. Coward. The same things she'd called Arkhip back when he first deserted. Let him go. Gods know where he is, and you're lost out at sea here with no idea when you'll be rescued, who will rescue you, or if you'll even be found. If your pod doesn't suffer some structural damage and drown you both, you're going to die of starvation or dehydration. And then what about Elu? He'll have to live with the rotting corpse of the person he cared most about. How will he deal with that?
Cualli closes her eyes, draws in a deep breath, holds it, and lets it out slowly. She can't let herself get carried away on the uncertainties of her situation, personal guilt, or fear. She needs to firstly take care of her boy, then take stock of her supplies, and then figure out how she's going to survive. You still have Elu. You still have your son. You're going to be okay. You're smart, you can figure this out, someone will come for you. A small part of her hopes that the Imperials find her, because then she just might have a chance of finding Arkhip again. Good. Hold on to that.
Her mental composure recollected, she undoes her safety belts and stands, stretching a bit before freeing Elu from his. "Let me see the joint that's bugging you," she says, giving him a warm, motherly smile. "I'll take care of you."