I'm a very passive person. I find it hard to legitimately care enough about many to be worried or excited, or even scared. I feel obligated to fake emotions so nobody thinks I'm completely insane
lol, i get hints of this in a different way
my mother is psychotic, acknowledges that she's psychotic, but refuses to take medication for her bullstuff.
if anyone she knows disagrees with her, she gets offended. if anyone she knows says something she doesn't find suitable to her tastes, she berates them and tries to guilt-trip them for saying something she didn't like.
because of this, i often find myself an actor in my own life when she's around. I can't comfortably say anything or respond comfortably without offending her, and if I don't put subtle nuances into the way I say things, she'll react as if I'm disagreeing with her.
oh, and there are times when I'll also have to act like I'm upset so she doesn't get more out of control. one time she just went ballistic and started throwing stuff at my dad because he didn't respond the way she wanted him to.
so yeah i want to murder her with a blunt object and watch her lifeless corpse rot