Funny/embarrassing stories

Author Topic: Funny/embarrassing stories  (Read 1289 times)

The gross stories topic got me to thinking, "Hmm, we want other peoples' stories to read on the podcast sometimes, but only 4 people listen to it... hey maybe Blockland has some stories we could read. Man I wish I could suck some richard right now." so here we are.

If you have a funny or embarrassing TRUE story about you or a friend that you'd like us to read on the show, you can post it here along with whatever name you'd like us to refer to you as. There is no limit on gross, weird, or disturbing content, just make sure it's funny and not too long (and believable because I know at least one of you will just make stuff up.)

Episodes are posted here:
http://www.soundcloud.com/itonlygetsworse

As well as on iTunes and Stitcher.

one time i threw up all over the computer lab in kindergarten

oops

one time i threw up all over the computer lab in kindergarten

oops
you went to the computer lab in kindergarden?

I caught my richard in my fly in a movie theater bathroom, lets say I yelled so loud security rushed to the bathroom.

Here's one I plan to read on the show this weekend:

When I was a kid, me and my mom were sitting in the waiting room at a doctor's office. I picked up a local newspaper and the front page showed a young girl in position to return a volleyball. I asked my mom, loudly, "Why does she look so stupid? That's a stupid way to stand." calmly, with saint-like patience, she assured me, "That's just how volleyball players are supposed to stand sweetie." So, of course that wasn't good enough for me, so I began yelling, "Well it looks dumb. I can't believe her picture is on the front of the newspaper looking that stupid. I would never play volleyball if I had to look that stupid." A girl was sitting silently, playing with some Legos across the waiting room table on the floor. She looked at me when I raised my voice, and stood up slowly from the ground and started walking over. She peered over my lap and looked at the news paper, then looked at me and quietly said, "That's me. The picture is me playing volleyball at school." I felt so incredibly mortified that I couldn't speak. My eyes began filling with tears and my mom was literally face palming. It was then that I vowed never to make fun of people like that in public again, and I still haven't to this day.

a guy i know pooped a monsterous turd in a public building that was incredibly long and extraordinarily stable
you know how all toilets have a hole in the center of the bowl that drains the water? the feces fell and formed a bridge across the hole, and flushing the toilet did not shift it at all


well you had to be there
it was hilarious

Here's one I plan to read on the show this weekend:

When I was a kid, me and my mom were sitting in the waiting room at a doctor's office. I picked up a local newspaper and the front page showed a young girl in position to return a volleyball. I asked my mom, loudly, "Why does she look so stupid? That's a stupid way to stand." calmly, with saint-like patience, she assured me, "That's just how volleyball players are supposed to stand sweetie." So, of course that wasn't good enough for me, so I began yelling, "Well it looks dumb. I can't believe her picture is on the front of the newspaper looking that stupid. I would never play volleyball if I had to look that stupid." A girl was sitting silently, playing with some Legos across the waiting room table on the floor. She looked at me when I raised my voice, and stood up slowly from the ground and started walking over. She peered over my lap and looked at the news paper, then looked at me and quietly said, "That's me. The picture is me playing volleyball at school." I felt so incredibly mortified that I couldn't speak. My eyes began filling with tears and my mom was literally face palming. It was then that I vowed never to make fun of people like that in public again, and I still haven't to this day.
I hate it when I was so young I didn't know when to shut my mouth, refer to me as SuperFlaminninja I was in kindergarden and there was a old fort at the top of a hill only older kids could play at, so at recess one day I was in the play land at the bottom of the hill, i had the Great idea of going to see the fort so i got 6 other kids and we did (just to see what it was like) so we went up and I just stood next to the enterence, all the sudden the coach ran in and startes yelling, I snuck out behind the coachs and ran to the bottom of the hill then I slid in the gravel under a play land, only to turn around and see all the kids walking back to the school with a coach, and all the kids staired at me as they walked 15 feet away from me. I lost a lot of friends that day :,)

BUMP oh yea one tine when I was 8 I was rlly stupid so I got a cynderblock a wood plank and a rock, I set the Center of the board on the block and then set the rock on one side and stomped on the other side (Like a catapult) the rock flew up and hit my jaw and it knocked my loose tooth out there was blood every where

One time I was so tired, when I finally realized what was going on, I was sitting still, and everybody else was doing the pledge of allegiance. ._.

One time I was so tired, when I finally realized what was going on, I was sitting still, and everybody else was doing the pledge of allegiance. ._.
DAMN COMMIE!

This just happened today.

I have a friend in 7th period. Her legs were hurting, so I let her use my thigh as a leg rest. We're just sitting there, doing our assignments, when suddenly, she gasps and almost screams.

I didn't even realize that my hand was sliding up her legs, touching her inner thigh. Luckily enough she forgave me when I told her that it was an accident.
Making things even more awkward, I had to hide an erection while apologizing to her... :/

This just happened today.

I have a friend in 7th period. Her legs were hurting, so I let her use my thigh as a leg rest. We're just sitting there, doing our assignments, when suddenly, she gasps and almost screams.

I didn't even realize that my hand was sliding up her legs, touching her inner thigh. Luckily enough she forgave me when I told her that it was an accident.
Making things even more awkward, I had to hide an erection while apologizing to her... :/
why'd you stop, man? you should have kept going onto first base!

I only had about 2 hours of sleep during the night before I had this incident.

During my first period I was practically asleep with my eyes open, I was zoned out then my friend was sitting next to me and reached her hand and stroked my thigh. I don't know what was in me but I jolted right out of the chair, we have those chair/desk combos so when I stood up the entire desk came with me, and I yelled something like "No! Keep your paws to yourself, khajiit!". I stopped the entire math class because I made my desk fly and paper go everywhere and I scared the stuff out of her.

I don't know why I said that or where I got the energy to jolt up like that.

DAMN COMMIE!
I was wearing my ushanka to a prep rally and forgot we were saying the pledge of allegiance, I am so glad I didn't get yelled at for it.

why'd you stop, man? you should have kept going onto first base!
Because we're just friends. I'm not going to try to make a move on her, and I'm pretty sure she isn't going to make a move on me.
Plus I got a lot closer to 1st base than you think. I'm honestly surprised she didn't notice.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2015, 07:24:52 PM by AtlasBlue »