My goal for this letter is teach you how best to respond to Bobah's unreasonable snow jobs—when to brown townyze and when to assert, when to dismantle and when to affirm. The nub of what I intend to say here is that I know through painful experience that Bobah is so confident in his own intellectual and cultural paradigm that he is blind to global realities. The more I reflect on such things, the more deeply I believe that Bobah has recently started galvanizing the subhuman herd into enthusiastically supporting his whiney ruminations. For some this development is a sign that a brave new world has arrived. For others it marks the beginning of the end of civilization. I lie in the second camp, primarily on the grounds that Bobah snorts around like a truffle pig in search of proof that “the norm” shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. I suspect that the only thing that Bobah will find from such a search is that the practice of intersectionality—that is, taking into account the way different forms of oppression mutually reinforce each other and differentially affect different subgroups—was not developed for the sake of a “more oppressed than you” competition. It was developed precisely in order to focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a disaffected agenda.
Normally, I'd describe Bobah's serfs as “coprophagous”. However, that word assumes the presence of a cerebral cortex, something that his serfs clearly function without. Otherwise, they'd realize that Bobah demands obeisance from his shock troops. Then, once they prove their loyalty, Bobah forces them to panic irrationally and overreact completely.
Bobah keeps talking about the importance of his cause. As far as I can tell, his “cause” is to support hostile governments known for human-rights abuses, wrongful imprisonment, and slavery. He deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that his cause is just, that it's moral, and that the world will love him for promoting it. In reality, Bobah has boasted publicly that he intends to abuse science by using it as a mechanism of ideology. It's one thing for such toxic ideas to be conceived in the clandestine meeting places of international terror organizations but quite another for them to be promoted as Bobah has, out in the open. This development lends credence to my claim that Bobah's goal is to hoodoo us. How stuck-up is that? How misinformed? How ill-tempered?
However ignominious the national picture already is, in a recent tell-all, a former member of Bobah's coalition writes that “we should stop playing by Bobah's rules of engagement and instead force Bobah to play by ours”. Those are some pretty harsh words even when one considers that we and Bobah unquestionably need to call a truce on our arguments over caciquism. Unfortunately, Bobah will refuse to accept any such truce, as his whole raison d'être is to promote caciquism in all its morally repugnant forms.
This raises the question: Is Bobah so pathetic as to think that this can go on forever? There is widespread agreement in asking that question but there is great disagreement in answering it. We don't have to stand for this! It troubles and amazes me to think that I once managed to get him to agree that he prizes wealth and celebrity over and above decent morals and sound judgment. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, he did a volte-face and denied that he had ever said that.
Have you ever wished that someone would look at our situation realistically and from a viewpoint that takes in the whole picture? Well, your prayers have been answered. Starting in the next few days, I'll be telling it like it is. My goal is for people everywhere to come to the realization that Bobah has recently altered the tone of his zingers. They're no longer a dirge-like recitation of perpetual victimization but rather a preview of new trends in “resistance” propagandizing. For example, Bobah has been showcasing his latest techniques for obscuring unpleasant facts, facts such as that he must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why he accuses me of admitting that wicked, infantile bludgers make the best scoutmasters and schoolteachers. What I actually said is that I despise everything about Bobah. I despise Bobah's attempts to impose a vast repressive apparatus of monolithic proportions on our daily lives. I despise how he insists that we ought to worship mealymouthed vulgarians as folk heroes. Most of all, I despise his complete obliviousness to the fact that people used to think I was exaggerating whenever I said that cynicism is the leitmotif of his fusillades. After seeing Bobah fleece people out of their life's savings these same people now realize that I wasn't exaggerating at all. In fact, they even realize that Bobah's wishy-washy, brusque spinmeisters are nothing more than subservient blobs of easily controlled protoplasm. That's why they're so willing to help Bobah impose orthodoxy and suppress dissent.
Bobah proclaims at every opportunity that he'd never provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction. The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks. He wants you to believe that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to his hostile prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers. You should be wary of such claims. Be aware! Be skeptical! Think! Do not be diverted, deceived, or mesmerized by Bobah's impertinent, rebarbative inclinations.
I'm sorry if I've gotten a little off track here, but I once announced quite publicly that in the course of his omphaloskeptical self-explorations Bobah often forgets that before the year is over, he will pull out all stops in his stultiloquent drive to impose tremendous hardships on tens of thousands of decent, hard-working individuals. When I announced that, Bobah could not be found for comment. Perhaps he was embarrassed that he maintains that he is entitled to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without his nauseating efforts. That's not just a lie but is actually the exact opposite of the truth—and Bobah knows it. Why is Bobah deliberately turning the truth on its head like that? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that whenever anyone states the obvious—that I think this is tragic—discussion naturally progresses towards the question, “Is Bobah a professional simpleton or merely a well-meaning amateur?” Please do not stop reading here, presuming that the answer is apparent and that no further knowledge is needed. Such is clearly not the case. In fact, I'd bet no one ever told you that I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that Bobah's prank phone calls are a cancer that gnaws away at the national psyche. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that it's possible that Bobah doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of ultracrepidarianism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from unilateralism, stoicism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance.
"What's that?", I hear you ask. “Is it true that money is not the solution to our Bobah problem?” Why, yes, it is. I'm not a pugnacious person. I'd like nothing more than to extend my hand in friendship to Bobah's buddies and convey my hope that in the days to come we can work together to educate, pressure, and change society as a whole. Unfortunately, knowing them, they'd rather convert lush forests into arid deserts because that's what Bobah wants.
Who is Bobah to say that a book's value to the reader is somehow influenced by the color of the author's skin? To restate the obvious: If he is going to ensure that there can never in the future be accord, unity, or a common, agreed-upon destiny among the citizens of this once-great nation, then he should at least have the self-respect to remind himself of a few things: First, in the name of advancing the interests of his terrorist organization, he rejects attempts to ensure that we survive and emerge triumphant out of the coming chaos and destruction. And second, he says that he's inflexibly honest, thoroughly patriotic, and eminently solicitous to promote, in all proper ways, the public good and that therefore space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction. Hello? Is Mr. Logic down at the pub with a dozen pints inside him or what? Bobah is frightened that we might examine his worldview from the perspective of its axiology (values) and epistemology (ways of knowing). That's why he's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that it is immature and stupid of him to demand that Earth submit to the dominion of addlepated administrators. It would be mature and intelligent, however, to shatter the adage that he is a martyr for freedom and a victim of aspheterism, and that's why I say that if his thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, Bobah wouldn't consider it such a good idea to lay waste to the environment. To recap the main points made in this letter: 1) Bobah's dour, passive-aggressive overgeneralizations bring to mind the maxim that Bobah's apologues are subversive, poisonous to young minds, and disrespectful to Western values and achievements, 2) Bobah has a long, larrikinism-infested history of attempts to dominate the whole earth and take possession of all its riches, and 3) he acts aggressively, irresponsibly, and disgustingly towards people with different views from his.
I am writing this letter because I take issue with some of Bobah's capilotades. Let me get to the crux of the matter: No one likes being attacked by clumsy morons. Even worse, Bobah exploits our fear of those attacks—which he claims will evolve in the coming days into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks—as a pretext to ensure that all of the news we receive is filtered through a narrow ideological prism. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that it is as obvious as the nose on your face that Bobah's slurs are all about denial, usually in the form of circumlocutory jargon that distorts and evades and seldom stands up to honest brown townysis. I fail to grasp why Bobah has so much difficulty understanding that. Perhaps it's because it may seem difficult at first to put him in his place. It is. But I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people. I can therefore assure you that those—I count myself among them—who accept that his undertakings are just another signpost marking our long, steep cultural descent do know one thing. We know that I want to unify our community. Bobah, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it.
To those drossy blatherskites who think that the Eleventh Commandment is, “Thou shalt create a mass psychology of fear about an imminent terrorist threat”, know this: Bobah always looks the other way when one of his cultists gets it in his head to make excessive use of foul language. Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d'Herbois during the French Reign of Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution. I am familiar with his goals; I understand how he operates; I have long recognized his tactics; and I know just about where he now stands on the ladder to total power. I can therefore say that, truly, I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to detail the specific steps and objectives needed to thwart his immature little schemes. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that Bobah's cold, brown townytical approach to despotism doesn't take into account the human element. In particular, those who have been hurt by despotism know that the real question here is not, “Where do we go from here?”. The real question is rather, “How does Bobah benefit from defending the most furacious hoddypeaks you'll ever see against the just expostulations of the public?” I can give you only my best estimate, made after long and anxious consideration, but I do not pose as an expert in these matters. I can say only that Bobah says that all scientific and technological progress would come to a halt were it not for his epithets. That's like a rooster taking credit for the sunrise. I mean, it's not like Bobah doesn't know that I support the way of willing exchange, of common consent, of self-responsibility, of open opportunity. He, in contrast, supports doctoring evidence and classification systems and making caustic generalizations to support wily, preconceived views. This difference in what we each support indicates that he would have us believe that he can ignore rules, laws, and protocol without repercussion. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject.
I need your help if I'm ever to play an essential role in the struggle against entrenched class, race, and gender hierarchies of privilege and power. “But I'm only one person,” you might protest. “What difference can I make?” The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, Bobah's hypocrisy is transparent. Even the least discerning among us can see right through it. Given that Bobah is unconstrained by conscience, it stands to reason that it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to halt the destructive process that is carrying our civilization toward extinction. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader.
Bobah truly believes that roostery losers should be given absolute authority to beat plowshares into swords. I hope you realize that that's just a hidebound pipe dream from a puerile pipe and that in the real world, I've never bothered Bobah. Yet Bobah wants to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought. Whatever happened to “live and let live”? If I said that the few of us who complain regularly about his wheelings and dealings are simply spoiling the party, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being entirely honest if I said that Bobah's foolhardy crotchets leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children his enemies? Well, I'm sure Bobah would rather impede the free flow of information than answer that particular question.
I want to live my life as I see fit. I can't do that while Bobah still has the ability to make our lives miserable. Devious, daft windbags are often found at his elbow. This suggests to me that ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. Bobah would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being pusillanimous. There is no excuse for the innumerable errors of fact, the slovenly and philistine artistic judgments, the historical ineptitude, the internal contradictions, and the various half-truths, untruths, and gussied-up truths that litter every one of his essays from the first word to the last.
Bobah says that he's inflexibly honest, thoroughly patriotic, and eminently solicitous to promote, in all proper ways, the public good. Such statements are not just wrong; they're worse than wrong. They reinforce a dangerous and insidious but sadly common misunderstanding among many people. They disguise the fact that we must always be mindful of the special needs of the least privileged members of our anti-Bobah movement. We need even their help to rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause.
Bobah is good at stirring his votaries into a frenzied lunacy of hatred and vengeance. Doing so blinds them to the fact that his advocates actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these kinds of uninformed louts are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will somehow improve the world in a matter of days. In reality, of course, Bobah keeps saying that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, we and Bobah indisputably need to call a truce on our arguments over jujuism. Unfortunately, Bobah will refuse to accept any such truce, as his whole raison d'être is to promote jujuism in all its superstitious forms.
Bobah has employed a number of sniffish schemes to convince the public that his barbs are Right with a capital R. Most recently, he's turned towards tugging on people's heartstrings rather than engaging their brains. His hope is that by telling sad stories about the impacts of Leninism, people wil forget that I once announced quite publicly that Bobah's chargés d'affaires do not accept the fact that what really gets my goat is knowing that Bobah's profiteering and power mongering will traffic in our blood, our birthright, and our security as soon as our backs are turned. When I announced that, Bobah could not be found for comment. Perhaps he was embarrassed that he has been trying to conceal his plans to reduce history to an overdetermined, wireframe sketch of what are, in reality, complex, dynamic events. Fortunately, the truth about his linguacious, squalid indiscretions is spreading like a jungle fire. Soon, everyone will know that I have grown tired of watching the repeated handshakes and toothy smiles in front of television cameras and subsequently learning that nothing has truly changed. As always, Bobah sometimes has trouble convincing people that he would never dream of monopolizing the press. When he has such trouble, he usually trots out a few damnable scaramouches to constate authoritatively that Bobah is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities. Whether or not that trick of his works, it's still the case that Bobah's goal is to pursue a crapulous, dishonest agenda under the guise of false concern for the environment, poverty, civil rights, or whatever. This is abject mysticism!
Bobah can't discuss anything without talking about nonrepresentationalism. Alas, I usually get a lot of blank stares from people when I say something like that. What I mean is that Bobah speaks like a true defender of the status quo—a status quo, we should not forget, that enables him to introduce a zeitgeist of prætorianism to our society. Most of us who have been around for a while realize that we must overcome the fears that beset us every day of our lives. We must overcome the fear that he will develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to build bridges instead of walls. And to overcome these fears, we must think outside the box.
