Speak with the terrorist, and attempt to convert him to terrorism for the LIBERAL cause.
Liberalism Ackbar, anyone?
"Do you want to hear something disturbing?" You say to the Terrorist.
"What?" He replies.
"Terrorists don't have freedom and are routinely tortured in Guantanamo Bay."
"Oh my Allah! Is there anything I can do to help?"
After some more discussion, he leaves the Post Office to rig his jacket with explosives.
make a ham sandwich, use your cum as mayo and devour it seductively like the flaming homoloveual you are
It tastes like putrid stuff. A gang member passing by notices.
"The forget is wrong with you, starfish?"
Insulted: +5 BloodlustThrow package over everyones heads onto the counter and bid them farewell before leaving
(Cannot complete action:Package already turned in)
why the forget is there a terrorist at the post office and why isn't anyone giving a damn about him
>Read the news on your phone
You decide to read the news on your phone.
ELTSEN Corporation under fire for selling bottled pollution
ELTSEN Corporation has recently come under a firestorm of severe criticism after a insider leaked that their bottled water is 99% pollution and 1% water. The CEO of ELTSEN has gone on record saying that bottled pollution is perfectly healthy, and that its better than having to drain California of it's precious water.
Joseph Stalin spotted in Downtown, planning to form an International Order Of Communists?
A eyewitness has reportedly seen what he describes as "Joseph Stalin and an army of undead Soviets [Expletive Deleted] roaming around and trying to find a base for their [Extremely Long Expletive Deleted] called the International Order Of Communists."
Turkish Mafia Strikes Again
A group of worthless, nationalistic thugs calling itself the Turkish Mafia has gone on a killing spree inside Yashka Sheriff's Used Car Dealership. 187 people of Armenian descent were killed, and one of the members were said to have shouted "The Armenian Genocide doesn't exist, you forgeters!" as he left the scene. Officials are also classifying this massacre as a terrorist act, like they do with everything else.
Military denies releasing "Mind Altering Gas" into our town
Military officials deny accidentally releasing "Mind Altering Gas" into the atmosphere. "Its actually a gas intended to fix the Ozone Layer," Major John Doe said. "Honest! It really is! And it doesn't make people violent at all!"
Good ol' America.
eat lunch
You could go for lunch right now. You exit the Post Office and discover a drone hovering right over it.
MEANWHILE.....
Drone Operator 1: "Sir! I've spotted a Terrorist outside the Post Office stuffing explosives into his jacket, but there are civilians around him!"
Drone Operator 2: "Open fire."
DO1: "But Sir, civilian casualties!"
DO2: "Collateral damage is unfortunate, but inevitable... Would you rather the Terrorist blows HIMSELF up and the rest of the Post Office, or we blow HIM up and the rest of the post office? Besides, its not like the Public ever cared when we 'accidentally' bombed funerals and weddings in the Middle East. I wonder why the Middle East hates us so much."
DO1: "Hey! Get away from that!"
DO2: "FIRE, DAMN YOU!"
*Sounds of struggle*
*FWOOSH*Drone Operator 1: Oh stuff.
You see a missile screaming directly at you before it misses the Terrorist and hits the Post Office instead, killing everyone but you. You feel the shockwave of the explosion tearing you apart and throwing you into someone else's windshield.
"My car, you son of a bitch!" The driver screams at you, before kicking you out and leaving you to bleed on the streets. You hear civilians start screaming as the drone fires again and again, repeatedly missing the Terrorist and blowing up everything but him. He breaks into a nearby car and drives off as the drone chases after him, firing missiles constantly and knocking down a skyscraper.
Protagonist(YOU) is at death's doorstep!The explosion also destroyed some of your inventory items. How will you be able to read Ghandi's teachings now? Also, your car was too close to the post office and it blew up.
Click for full image. Destroyed locations are crossed out in red.Things to doSpread Liberalism(optional)
InventoryCar Keys
Flashlight
Umbrella
1911(8/8 rounds, 1 mag left)
Switchblade
Bag of Marbles
Water Bottle
$161
"Smart" Phone
Sausage
Can of Beans
Wanted Level: Not wanted.
Bloodlust: 15%(Normal)
Poll