ask for toilet paper and when he opens the door piss on him, preferably right in the eyes
You ask for some toilet paper. He replies through the door that there are extra rolls in the sink cabinet. Interested in what else could be in there, you fling the door open. All you find are individually wrapped toilet paper rolls and a box of Dixie cups.
actually, jack off into the cup and moan loudly
.....
You try for several minutes to get something to come out but you're all dry from doing it in the police car. The interrogator knocks on the door and asks if you're alright.
just go through with his instructions
piss in the cup you autistic child for once in your loving life you are given a simple task and you should not forget this one up like the last 15
Then you get this strange epiphany. Something inside you is telling you to "FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS". What is this crap I've never heard....
"FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS" it screams again. Scared out of your mind with your limp willy lying on your unzipped jeans, you place the cup underneath it and fill it. Instead of overflowing your cup onto the floor, you pinch your urethra and finish in the toilet. You screw the lid on. You wash your hands....WITH SOAP TOO....
AND FOR 30 SECONDS!!! You don't even feel an urge to piss on the walls or unwrap the toilet paper rolls and drop them all in the toilet. You knock on the door and tell the man that you're done.
He opens the door and takes the cup. He walks you back to the interrogation room and disappears for a while. He comes back a while later informing you that your drug levels are clean. I wonder why he thought you were on drugs.
He also informs you that the man that you cut after trying to pickpocket him is not pressing charges.
He sits down at the table again. He looks at you closely while twitching his Tom Selleck mustache. He folds his hands on the table and says, "I know you're not from San Francisco, son."
You shift uncomfortably under his gaze.
"Would you like to tell me where you're really from....telling the truth this time?"
You feel very awkward.
Status:Location: New York, NY (Bronx)
Time: 11:43am ET Friday
Temperature: 63°F
Stamina: Rested
Hunger: Full
Local Heat (your apparent wanted level in a given area):
High*You are wanted for evading the custody of your uncle, who lives in Cambridge, MA.*You are wanted for armed robbery and indecent exposure in Somerville, MA.*You are wanted for vandalism, assault on a police officer, and resisting arrest in New York, NY.You are in the interrogation room of a police precinct in the Bronx. You've passed a drug test and a couple charges were dropped, but the interrogator knows you are lying about your story.
Hygiene:
Shower status: Average
Amenities status (deodorant, body spray, cologne): Average
Mouth status: Excellent
Clothing Status: Decent, should be washed soon
Colon contents: Poop of the Century WIP (4 hours left)
Items:
One set of clothing on your back (sweater, shirt, jeans, underwear, socks, shoes)
Heelys
Football Gloves
Pen
Pad of paper
$25
Texas Roadhouse gift card (Amount unknown)
Gum
$159.97
An old photo of you and your mom
An old photo of your mom taken by your dad in the hospital when you were born
An old photo of your mom with the safe, reading "Rico, plot 2270"
iPhone 6 (19% battery)
An old basic flip phone, not useful for anything except phone calls (78% battery)
Bowie knife
Small piece of wire
*
Blue indicates edible materials for replenishing hunger and/or stamina.
Poll