those people are not feminists then. they might call themselves that, but if they aren't for equality then they aren't a part of a the movement that supports equality. i don't see where you're getting lost here.
by all means, be upset at those people who are against gender equality because those people deserve it, but talking stuff on a bunch of regular, (generally) reasonable people who aren't affiliated with a bunch of misandrists is just plain rude.
If you call yourself a feminist, you are a feminist. There is no defined standard. I just don't understand why people would want to be associated with them. I don't see how feminism supports equality in the slightest. First, there is the Guardian, which never ceases to amaze me with its bullstuff. Next, there's the obvious bias towards women's issues over men's. In many cases, they take gender-neutral issues and portray women as the primary victims, even though men experience usually the same or worse treatment in that issue. Then, there's the victim complex. Women are always the victim. This is why we never see any advocacy, but silencing of, men's issues. For example, the feminist backlash at the MRA assembly in Toronto awhile back. Then, there's the selective services, workplace deaths, Self Delete rates, assault rates, obvious bias towards women in the judicial system, the list continues. Feminism has displayed itself that it is not about equality both through its actions and lack thereof.
