The Deal [Hiatus]

[tber123]

use the jet engine augmentation in your ass to fly there

You check there and discover that you are 100% man and 0% machine. Darn.

*cough* Rule 1 *Cough*

shatter the windows of a car, saying "opening a can of whoop ass" while doing it

drive to the soviet history museum and bring your car straight through the front door like a redneck s.o.b

John McClass finds a Pink 2014 Sports Car.
John McClass smashes the window of the Pink 2014 Sports Car with the BLOODLUST Lever Action, and an alarm starts blaring!
John McClass tries to hotwire the car by touching some wires together and fails. John McClass instead searches in the glove compartment and finds the keys.

You start blasting music on the stereo as you cruise through the town in style, eventually making your way to the Soviet History Museum. Nearby Anti-Communist Activists are busy vandalizing the mural of Joseph Stalin holding a Hammer and Sickle on the walls. A large, yellow "STALIN SUX" can be seen being painted by the Activists.

You smash the Sports Car through the front doors of the museum, wrecking it and causing an alarm to go off. Two security guards rush to your location and shove pistols in your face, yelling at you to put your hands up.

Security Guard 1 armed with Compact .45 Pistol
Security Guard 2 armed with Compact .45 Pistol
All 8 of the Anti-Communist Activists are busy defacing the mural of Joseph Stalin holding a Hammer and Sickle.

WEAPONS BLOODLUST Lever Action .44 Henry 4/8 Hand Cannon .50 3/8 (Massive recoil) 6x35mm PDW 17/30 (Spray and pray.) Tranquilizer Pistol 4/5 (Works best on limbs or the neck) Secretly Sharpened Pen (Opens up letters, cans, and throats alike) Taser 1/1 (Portable Police Brutality Package.)

ITEMS Violin Case (Something heavy is inside this) Mysterious Package (DROP OFF AT SOVIET HISTORY MUSEUM) Your own wallet($500 for bribin' and buyin') Smartphone Pink Suit/Tie Fancy Suit w/ Concealed Armor (Stops most pistol/SMG rounds and shotgun pellets) EQUIPPED Plastic Bag (Carry groceries or suffocate some unlucky bastard.) Purple Handcuffs Roll of Tape Scribbled piece of paper

RESERVE AMMO Tranq Dart: 5 Taser Ammo: 3 .50: 6 6x35mm: 20 .44 Henry: 4 SECURITY GUARDS ALARMED - CURRENT PHASE: ARREST Pink 2014 Sports Car: COMPLETELY WRECKED [█XXXX] Overall Health: HEALTHY Blood: [llllllllll] Head: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Torso: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Left Arm: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Arm: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Left Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll]

[Ad Bot]

[Refticus]

waddle out and get a toy helicopter, go back in and show them the note with the helicopter in hand

[Cybertails1998]

taze them

[Space1255]

Show them the note.
Proceed to say that someone tried to run you off the road.

[Snaked_Snake]

Show them the note.
Proceed to say that someone tried to run you off the road.

Do this and also get a toy helicopter before going further

[tber123]

waddle out and get a toy helicopter, go back in and show them the note with the helicopter in hand

Show them the note.
Proceed to say that someone tried to run you off the road.

Do this and also get a toy helicopter before going further

You grab a toy Mil Mi-24 from the souvenir shop and brandish your note. "Some guy also tried to run me off the road."

"Seems legit." The Security Guards say, before turning around.

taze them

John McClass fires the Taser at Security Guard 1!
Security Guard 2 returns fire with the Compact .45, but MISTAKENLY shoots a random bystander in the face!
John McClass reloads the Taser and fires it at Security Guard 2, stunning him!

After tasing the security guards, you drop off the mysterious package and instantly recieve a phone call.

"Thank you for your service, Mr. McClass. The money has been wired to your account."

PACKAGE DELIVERED - PLAYTHROUGH 1 COMPLETE.
START NEW GAME+? Y/N

New Game+ will have different events this time around, the ability to carry over some of your items, and starting loadouts(Pacifier, Action Hero, etc). It will also hopefully be longer.
Also anyone have suggestions for how a second playthrough should go? Events, characters, rules, factions, etc?

Playstyle Awarded: Smooth Talker
Talk your way through most situations.

WEAPONS THAT WILL CARRY OVER TO A NEW GAME+ BLOODLUST Lever Action .44 Henry 4/8 Tranquilizer Pistol 4/5 (Works best on limbs or the neck) Secretly Sharpened Pen (Opens up letters, cans, and throats alike) Taser 1/1 (Portable Police Brutality Package.)

ITEMS CARRYING OVER TO NEW GAME+ Violin Case (Something heavy is inside this) Mysterious Package Your own wallet($500 for bribin' and buyin') Smartphone Pink Suit/Tie Fancy Suit w/ Concealed Armor (Stops most pistol/SMG rounds and shotgun pellets) EQUIPPED Plastic Bag (Carry groceries or suffocate some unlucky bastard.) Purple Handcuffs Roll of Tape Scribbled piece of paper

Pink 2014 Sports Car: COMPLETELY WRECKED [█XXXX] Overall Health: HEALTHY Blood: [llllllllll] Head: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Torso: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Left Arm: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Arm: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Left Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll]

[Space1255]

Was that really it? Get DLC Deliveries.

[NotBomberguy]

get a stuffton of dlc so the game can become longer and more content
this includes a cheat dlc so you can get a console to enter cheats

[Refticus]

before we restart, destroy the rules and become a jet rocket fueled by memes then nuke the city.
then we restart.

[tber123]

before we restart, destroy the rules and become a jet rocket fueled by memes then nuke the city.
then we restart.

You ignore the rules for a brief moment, turning into a meme-fueled nuclear rocket before raining down on the city! You strike the ground and detonate, purging the entire city in cleansing fire and radiation!

Was that really it? Get DLC Deliveries.

DLC Acquired: More Deliveries

get a stuffton of dlc so the game can become longer and more content
this includes a cheat dlc so you can get a console to enter cheats

DLC Acquired: The remaining 6 hours of the game
DLC Acquired: Developer Console Enabler

New Game+ Starting Loadouts

Pyromaniac(Watch the world burn)
Start with a spraycan flamethrower, a box full of matches, two gas cans, a firefighter suit, and three molotov roostertails.

Mad Bomber(Explosions galore)
Start with a grenade launcher, two frag grenades, and one High Explosive grenade.

Action Hero(Perfect for Flash Mob)
Start with a customized assault rifle, a knife, body armor, bandanna, and a special armor-piercing pistol.

The Musician(Starting companion)
Start with a musical instrument of your choice and the skill to play it. There's more than meets the eye...

The Pacifier(Pacifist Run)
Start with a Tranquilizer Rifle, 2 Stun Grenades, 2 Gas Grenades, a book on Ghandi's teachings, and a Nightstick.

The Sneak(Stealth)
Start with a suppressed pistol, fiber wire, a ninja suit, and three throwing knives.

The Sharpshooter(Blowing people into pieces)
Start with a Sniper Cannon and a scoped revolver

The Gunslinger(Akimbo Fury)
Start with two powerful revolvers.

The Communist(Corrupting people into Communism)
Start with two Communist laser pistols and a magnificent moustache

The Contrarian(Creativity)
Start with a Deflector capable of reflecting projectiles.

The Police Brutality(Cruelty)
Start with a Taser Shotgun, pepper spray, Stinger grenades, flashbangs, and a stun gun.

Other Loadout: ______________

WEAPONS CARRYING OVER BLOODLUST Lever Action .44 4/8 Tranquilizer Pistol 4/5 (Works best on limbs or the neck) Secretly Sharpened Pen (Opens up letters, cans, and throats alike) Taser 1/1 (Portable Police Brutality Package.)

ITEMS CARRYING OVER Violin Case (Something heavy is inside this) Not-So Mysterious Package Your own wallet($500 for bribin' and buyin') Smartphone Pink Suit/Tie Fancy Suit w/ Concealed Armor (Stops most pistol/SMG rounds and shotgun pellets) EQUIPPED Plastic Bag (Carry groceries or suffocate some unlucky bastard.) Purple Handcuffs Roll of Tape Scribbled piece of paper

AMMO .44: 4 Tranq Dart: 6 Taser: 4 Overall Health: HEALTHY Blood: [llllllllll] Head: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Torso: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Left Arm: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Arm: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Left Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll] Right Leg: HEALTHY [llllllllll]

[Zharthon]

my name is not important, what's important is who i am going to deliver these packages to

action hero

[Space1255]

The Police Brutality.

[Cybertails1998]

musician.  who wouldn't try to defuse a nuclear situation with just a kazoo

[Refticus]

hatred guy set

edgy trenchcoat
edgy greasy hair
katana
waifu body pillow
custom ak47 with your waifu on it

[Mr Noobler]

The Gunslinger(Akimbo Fury)
Start with two powerful revolvers.

im pretty sure that will take a long time to reload unless you have some fancy speedloaders