Author Topic: A guy I really like cheated on his girlfriend  (Read 2020 times)

...to be with me. I don't really wanna detail too much what happened but I'll summarize. Him, me and a friend are spending our fall break at the guy I like's house. My friend was absent for a few hours and the guy and I had some real personal conversation going and he revealed to me that he's bi. Later on in the night my friend goes to bed early and then stuff between us escalated. There's a lot more to it than that but yeah, didn't want to include a whole lot of personal details to it

I feel really guilty about it cause I completely forgot about her until this morning. I think he's an starfish for it but I /do not/ want to say anything to him about it. So now I'm stuck in this weird limbo, he's got a girlfriend already but he likes me and I think he's a richard but I'm still attracted to him

Now what do I do

tell her. also, you're a richard too. there's no way out of that. there's unlikely to be anything you'll be able to say to her that will make her not think you're a complete bag of richards. so don't try to make any excuses about "forgetting," just admit that you made a mistake
« Last Edit: October 17, 2015, 02:24:50 AM by Foxscotch »

his girlfriend, his decision

p sure at that point he did it to himself
if he was actually a good person he'd stop himself

Assuming you want to do the right thing? Unless you have a monumental trust toward the guy - and this is just the best thing for yourself - I would call things off between you and him in all regards to relationships. If you don't want to be with somebody who may easily develop attractions and relationships aside from the main one - as is evident here, you shouldn't pursue him at all if you don't want yourself to get hurt like that.

Imagine how his girlfriend might feel to hear that as it turns out, her boyfriend is fooling around with some guy? Now imagine yourself in similar shoes later down the road when you discover that he hasn't exactly been faithful toward you either. Lots of pain, emotion, and drama come crashing right into your life where you really wish it hadn't.

Honestly, for everyone's health, disassociate yourself with him. You are probably less likely to get hurt that way. He and his girlfriend can be as honest and as dishonest toward eachother as they decide to be, but for your health, don't let it happen toward you because of him, and to be morally sound, don't do it to somebody else.

Also with an issue this big I'm not so sure you should ask a place like the BL forums.

tell her. also, you're a richard too. there's no way out of that. there's unlikely to be anything you'll be able to say to her that will make her not think you're a complete bag of richards. so don't try to make any excuses about "forgetting," just admit that you made a mistake

other people have told me this isn't the first time he's cheated on her
i feel really awful for her

Assuming you want to do the right thing? Unless you have a monumental trust toward the guy - and this is just the best thing for yourself - I would call things off between you and him in all regards to relationships. If you don't want to be with somebody who may easily develop attractions and relationships aside from the main one - as is evident here, you shouldn't pursue him at all if you don't want yourself to get hurt like that.

Imagine how his girlfriend might feel to hear that as it turns out, her boyfriend is fooling around with some guy? Now imagine yourself in similar shoes later down the road when you discover that he hasn't exactly been faithful toward you either. Lots of pain, emotion, and drama come crashing right into your life where you really wish it hadn't.

Honestly, for everyone's health, disassociate yourself with him. You are probably less likely to get hurt that way. He and his girlfriend can be as honest and as dishonest toward eachother as they decide to be, but for your health, don't let it happen toward you because of him, and to be morally sound, don't do it to somebody else.

Also with an issue this big I'm not so sure you should ask a place like the BL forums.

tbh, I'm really discussing it here as its 1:30 AM and really the only other community I could post this in to hear opinions is reddit

also I never planned on having any kind of relationship with him. it was relatively spontaneous, I'd rather not lose him as a friend though but I'm probably gonna have to

don't assume that because he cheated on a girlfriend that he is a bad person

How do we know that the girlfriend didn't suck?

don't assume that because he cheated on a girlfriend that he is a bad person
Cheating is always an indicator of an untrustworthy person lol. This is common sense.

I think he's an starfish for it but I /do not/ want to say anything to him about it. So now I'm stuck in this weird limbo, he's got a girlfriend already but he likes me and I think he's a richard but I'm still attracted to him

yeah, he's totally an starfish because you homewrecked his relationship

Cheating is always an indicator of an untrustworthy person lol. This is common sense.
umm what if their s.o is abusive? or just doesn't care about them or the relationship?

point is try not to pass judgement until you know the whole story.

How do we know that the girlfriend didn't suck?
To be honest she's really a bitch and idk what he ever saw in her but ANYWAYS that's besides the point. He cheated on her before and she's AWARE of it. The relationship is forgeted on both ends, he's unhappy with her and she doesnt forgive him for the past but they continue dating?? I don't understand why if they're both unhappy

don't assume that because he cheated on a girlfriend that he is a bad person

if he's gonna cheat on a girl multiple times and not break it off with her that is definitely not a sign of a good person

You weren't very clear about how serious or how lacking of a relationship you were talking about.
A guy I really like cheated on his girlfriend to be with me

Regardless, in light of what else you've said now, I'll say this: your guilt is pretty valid and you did kinda sorta forget up. But seeing as he's been dishonest toward her multiple times and now has added you to the list, he has hardly been an excellent friend or boyfriend. I doubt seriously you should keep him very close in your life if this is a normal sort of thing for him to do.