Three kids just received presents on (insert whatver you easily offended forgets)(X)mas day.
Their parents had assured them that Santa gave them the presents based on their attitudes towards their parents the whole year, so if they were nice, they would get a nice gift.
The first kid tore open his present with joy and found he had gotten a lovely heart box of chocolates. The first kid eagerly ran off to go consume their newfound christmas cavity candy.
The second kid sheepishly opened their present and found a lump of charcoal. Everyone knew why but kept silent. The second kid then headed to their room to go rage about how stuffty the parents were for giving them such a stuffty present on a forum not unlike this one.
The third kid, last in line, shook his present and found it to be light and small. Slightly disappointed but none-the-less determined, he tore away and found his present to contain a ripped up bible. The child, confused and even more disappointed, begged to his father why he had gotten such a gift, but there was no reply.
Satan then ran crying outside to go set the world on fire for such a dumb gift.
Yeah, I know, I'm not good with jokes.