What have we done
>Donald bows to Scoopanoffs
>In contact with Ben and Jerry
>Possess psychic-like ice creams
>Controls Baskin Robbins with an iron but fair fist
>Own dairies & cone factories globally
>Direct scoops from the ancient royal cream line
>Will bankroll the first ice cream truck on Mars (Scoopangrad will be be the first and second cities)
>Own 99% of vanilla extract editing research facilities on Earth
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be Neapolitan
>Both scoops said to have 222222+ calories, such calories on Earth have only existed deep in Area 51
>Ancient Indian scriptures tell of two scoops which will descend upon Earth and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented technological progress with them
>They own scoopbot R&D labs around the world
>You likely have two scoops inside you right now
>The Scoopanoffs are in regular communication with the Häagen and Dazs, forwarding the word of Scoopanoff to the Sundae Church. Who do you think set up the meeting between the Cone & the Sundae high command (First meeting between the two organisations in over 1000 years) and arranged the Sundae leader’s first trip to the freezer in history literally a few days later?
>They learned fluent Creamspeak in under a week
>Nation states entrust their chocolate reserves with the Scoopanoffs.
>The Scoopanoffs are about 7 centuries old and are still not freezer burnt, from the flavour reference point currently accepted by our society
>In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of flavour and creaminess from vanilla to the end of the universe. We don’t know their ultimate taste yet.
We hope they’re delicious scoops.
Poll