So I was pissing myself. The closest bathroom was the disabled-friendly bathroom. I take a piss and when I leave, this whalord is on those walmart carts, you know, those that move people with actual movement issues. So this starfish tells me "Kid, that bathroom is for disabled people such as myself. Don't use it" in a rather rude manner. So I told him "fatassery is not a disability". He told me he was offended and that I should apologize immediately. Left anyways.
Moments later, security grabs my shoulder and tells me to leave the place for the rest of the day or they would call police on the grounds of verbal assault.
I should write a book.