MindHive [Thread finished, now planning for Quest to Save Kompressor Redux]

[The Big Bad Jellyfish]

Use your charming looks to seduce them.

[Ad Bot]

[Mr Queeba]

go with them and tell them a group of communists tried to use you to blow up the white house except the package you delivered is actually a dud c4 and that they blew their own plane up

[tber123]

This update took almost 2 hours or so and I probably forgeted something up

Kill yourself OH YEAH!

Joshua resists this command. Joshua's resistance to commands has increased significantly. WARNING: Joshua's resistance to commands he doesn't like has reached a troublesome level!

give them $1, to share.

Joshua attempts to give the Secret Service Agents a dollar, but they refuse!
SS Agent 3: "Are you trying to bribe me?"

Use your charming looks to seduce them.

Joshua attempts to seduce the SS Agents!
Joshua gives the loveiest, most alluring "come hither" gaze he can muster and starts deep into the eyes of the SS Agents.
SS Agent 3 has a wife and kids!
SS Agent 2 is only interested in himself!
SS Agent 1 is too old to be having a relationship with someone 20-40 years younger than him!

go with the secret service agents

prepare to do the canadian destroyer while they interview you

go with them and tell them a group of communists tried to use you to blow up the white house except the package you delivered is actually a dud c4 and that they blew their own plane up

Seeing as how Joshua has no other choice, he willingly goes with the SS Agents. Joshua finds himself in an interrogation room.

Joshua: "I swear, it's not what you think! The International Order of Communists tried to make me blow up the white house so I had to plant fake c4 to trick them into blowing themselves up because I planted the real c4 on their plane and they blew themselves to hell! I love America! GOD BLESS AMERICA!"
SS Agent: "Calm down, Sonny. We know about the International Order of Communists. We have to thank you for defeating our Communist archnemesis."
Joshua: "Are you the International Order of Capitalists the Commies mentioned?"
SS Agent 2: "That was a good one! NO."
SS Agent: "Wait a minute, what?"
SS Agent 3: "You're here because you know too much. You must be silenced. We know for a fact that you'll eventually be coming for us, the International Order of Fascists, next!"
Joshua: "Wha---"
SS Agent: "The hell is going on?"



SS Agents 2 and 3 drop the "Secret Service" act and draw P38 pistols!



SS Agent: "Hold on! What the hell are you two doing?"



SS Agent 1 is shot in the back of the head by a man in a Wehrmacht uniform!
Wehrmacht 1: "Schweinhund!"
Joshua: "Woah, woah, WOAH! What in God's name?"



SS Agent 3: "Any last words, you filthy rat?"



Joshua suddenly reaches across the table, grabs SS Agent 2, and performs a canadian destroyer!
SS Agent 3 MISTAKENLY shoots and kills SS Agent 2 in his attempt to stop Joshua from performing a Canadian Destroyer! One bullet manages to overpenetrate and strike Joshua in the torso!
Wehrmacht 1 raises the MP40 too late and only ends up shooting at where Joshua WAS sitting!



Joshua is now hiding under a table that barely provides concealment from the Fascists shooting at him. He can't kick the table down either, because it's literally rooted to the spot(and the table is not a prop, it's a part of the map).

A shout suddenly erupts outside the interrogation room!

????: "JOSHUA! HOLD ON!"

Joshua: (Good grief. Could this day get any LESS weird?)

It is 10:32 AM on Tuesday, December 21.
Joshua is WOUNDED
ENCOUNTER: International Order of Fascists

Inventory
$1
BOOK (Manly Man's Guide to Wrestling)
BOOK (So You've Been Forced Into Being a Communist Slave)
PB Silent Pistol
Walter P38

[startacker]

"Seems like a shoot to kill situation, try shooting through the table at the agent, you got this, I know it."

[The Big Bad Jellyfish]

Pretend to be dead, they'll leave eventually.

[KristoB]

dual wield pistols and shoot their legs

[kongo]

tear up your books and throw the paper everywhere as a diversion

[Marios]

"Seems like a shoot to kill situation, try shooting through the table at the agent, you got this, I know it."

(and the table is not a prop, it's a part of the map)

[Nicepoint]

Shoot the agent's foot from below the table.

[TristanLuigi]

reveal yourself as literally Riddler, then command them as your personal army

you were only killing them in self defense

[Drydess]

reveal yourself as literally Riddler, then command them as your personal army

you were only killing them in self defense

then state to the world that you did nothing wrong

[Space1255]

Shoot their knees

[Decepticon]

reveal yourself as literally Riddler, then command them as your personal army

you were only killing them in self defense

this

[CRITAWAKETS]

Kill the wersh-guy first and then the other SS agent while being under the table.

[tber123]

reveal yourself as literally Riddler, then command them as your personal army

you were only killing them in self defense

then state to the world that you did nothing wrong

this

Joshua: (That sounds crazy enough to work...)

Joshua: "Don't shoot! You are shooting someone that is LITERALLY Riddler! Yes! It is I, Riddler in disguise! I am Riddler and I have done nothing wrong, so you cannot silence me!"



SS Agent 3: "What?"



Joshua: "Yes! You really are looking at your Fuhrer! SIEG HEIL! I command you to stop shooting me!"

SS Agent 3 and Wehrmacht 1 put their guns down.

Joshua: "Come with me! We can MAKE GERMANY GREAT AGAIN!"



???: "NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!"

The Real Riddler: "LIES! LIES! LIIIEEEES! ACHTUNG! THIS IS AN IMPOSTOR!"

Joshua: "No! He's the impostor! His moustache is fake and his haircut is wrong!"

The Real Riddler: "Your German accent is terrible, and you never lost a testicle to mustard gas! That should prove it!

SS Agent 3: "Who do we shoot?"



The Real Riddler suddenly starts giving a speech about how he can bring back national socialist Germany in the modern day, making wild gestures with his arms and hands all the way!
Joshua tries to bluff the Fascists by also giving a speech, but his gesturing isn't very convincing! He's not having enough of a seizure!
SS Agent 3: "SPION!"
The Real Riddler: "GET HIM!"
Joshua: "Oh, stuff."



SS Agent 3 opens fire on Joshua, hitting the torso!

tear up your books and throw the paper everywhere as a diversion

Joshua tears up his books and quickly throws paper at SS Agent 3!
SS Agent 3 suffers a paper cut to both his eyes! SS Agent 3 screams and starts shooting wildly, emptying his gun into the wall!

"Seems like a shoot to kill situation, try shooting through the table at the agent, you got this, I know it."

dual wield pistols and shoot their legs

Shoot the agent's foot from below the table.

Shoot their knees

Kill the wersh-guy first and then the other SS agent while being under the table.

Joshua shoots both his pistols at Wehrmacht 1, hitting the legs twice! Wehrmacht 1 collapses to the floor!
Wehrmacht 1: "AARRRRGH! SON OF A---"



Joshua shoots at Wehrmacht 1, hitting the head and BLOWING IT INTO PIECES!
Wehrmacht 1's face is blasted off!
Wehrmacht 1 cries out for mama one last time.



Joshua caps SS Agent 3 in the legs, waits for him to collapse in pain, and caps him in the head!



Riddler stares at Joshua from across the room.

Riddler: "Well.... They're all dead. But I'll be back! I'll ALWAYS be back!"
Riddler lets out a cackle as he makes an exit stage left, plotting his revenge!

Joshua sits down and catches his breath for a few minutes before being rudely interrupted.



???: "JOSHUA? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

VendOS and another MindHive Test Subject burst into the room!

VendOS: "I HAVE ESCAPED POLICE CAPTIVITY BY STEALING THE SKIN OF A FELLOW VENDING MACHINE. I COULD NOT FIND MY ARMS AND LEGS, SO I STOLE THEM FROM ANOTHER ROBOT. IT IS ME."
MindHive Subject: "We need to connect you back to MindHive, buddy! The Experiment must go on!"
Joshua: "NO! MindHive was a drunken mistake! I never asked for this! Please don't take me ba---"



VendOS punches Joshua in the face with a robo-fist. Joshua rapidly starts losing consciousness...
MindHive Subject: "Okay, now to get him back into MindHive we have to do this...."



MINDHIVE RE-INITIALIZED. SUBJECT RECOGNIZED: JOSHUA. WELCOME BACK, JOSHUA.
Joshua wakes up.
Joshua: "Why?"
IF YOU HATE MINDHIVE SO MUCH, WHY DID YOU SIGN UP FOR IT?
Joshua: "I was drunk!"
THAT IS NO EXCUSE. YOU SIGNED TWO CONTRACTS WITH PERFECT HANDWRITING AND HAD SURGERY WITHOUT ANAESTHETIC WHILE YOU WERE DRUNK. YOU'RE STUCK BEING CONNECTED TO MINDHIVE UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR.


WE HAVE GOOD NEWS. WE NOW KNOW THE CAUSE OF YOUR FREAKOUT THAT ENABLED YOU TO BREAK FREE FROM MINDHIVE TEMPORARILY. THE EXTREME STRESS AND REGRET FROM MURDERING YOUR NEIGHBOR KOSCHEI SOMEHOW GAVE YOU ENOUGH WILLPOWER TO ESCAPE. DURING THE PERIOD OF TIME WHERE WE COULD NOT CONNECT TO YOU, YOU WENT ON A MASSIVE, HOMICIDAL RAMPAGE ACROSS TOWN THAT ENDED WITH VendOS ACCIDENTALLY KILLING YOU.



VendOS: "MORE FASCISTS ARE AFTER US, JOSHUA. WE DISCOVERED A CONSPIRACY, WHICH CAUSED THE SECRET SERVICE AGENTS TO DROP THEIR DISGUISES AND START SHOOTING AT US."
Subject 6024: "Footsteps outside! They're waiting outside the door!"

GOOD NEWS FOR THE FORUMERS, TOO! AN UPGRADE TO OUR SYSTEMS HAS ENABLED YOU TO CONTROL MULTIPLE PEOPLE WITH MindHive IMPLANTED INTO THEM AT ONCE. WE'LL SEE HOW WELL THIS GOES.

Joshua's desire to escape from MindHive has increased.

It is 11:25 AM on Wednesday , December 21. On January 1, Joshua will finally be released from MindHive... Assuming that the Augmented Horizons corporation is honest.
Joshua is BADLY WOUNDED
VendOS is UNDAMAGED
MindHive Test Subject #6024 is HEALTHY

Joshua's Inventory
$1
PB Silent Pistol
Walter P38

VendOS's Inventory
SaltWater Bottle x6669
HE Grenade x3
$20000
Human Flesh x3

Subject 6024's Inventory
Wrench
Tablet
Taurus Raging Bull
Electronic Multi-tool
Steyr AUG Para

TL:DR Joshua kills the Fascists in self defense, Riddler escapes, VendOS and Subject 6024 reconnect Joshua to MindHive, and there are a bunch of agents from the International Order of Fascists waiting outside the door