My social anxiety has come to a new level (blogland)

[espio100]

Okay so I obviously have a bad case of social anxiety because im a complete moron who spends its entire day jacking off to hentai infront of its computer, having no social life and already gave up on trying to get one. I can count the amount of friends I have on my great grandpas left hand and he lost 2 fingers on that one.
Anyway, so me and my buds usually spend break time on our phones, talking about game related stuff or being a conplete cunt towards eachother by pulling their shoelaces and untying it or whatever.
So my buddy was playing some phone game and I accidentally stepped on his shoelace, it got loose and he hit me in the stomach p hard. Ofc I tell him it was an accident and he tells me to forget off
Calmdownm8.png
He didnt even speak to me in the pub we always go at with my "squad".
Either way, do you know 'that guy' who always gets picked last at PE
Yeah im that guy, wich isnt mich of a suprise really and honestly I dont care. But even my friends pick the vaping edgelords and douchebags over me. Well I get it you want to win at whatever but isnt PE just 50 minutes you can forget arround with your friends or whatever? I never took it serious, really.
I always get the feeling literally everyone thinks bad about me, even people I dont even or barely know that just happen to be in the same room as me. I always think they think of me as some annoying brat or a piece of human waste in general. Im the silent type so I dont get where the annoying part goes. Maybe the way I just act in general. Duno.

So yeah
I also have a crippling low self esteem and expectations and I really want to kill myself because its making me depressive


Oh and if this entire thing doesnt make any sense,,thats because its midnight and I couldnt cry myself to sleep so im typing this instead

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[Clownfish]

do you bring people down with negativity
that's a quick trip to "that guy" territory

I really want to kill myself because its making me depressive

get help

[Toxicology]

prolly cause ur annoying

[espio100]

do you bring people down with negativity
that's a quick trip to "that guy" territory

No
I barely talk to people in general. And when I do im usually friendy but extremely nervous because im anxious I forget up talking somehow.

Class is different tough but I dont really feel like typing the stuff that happens there.

prolly cause ur annoying

I always think they think of me as some annoying brat or a piece of human waste in general. Im the silent type so I dont get where the annoying part goes. Maybe the way I just act in general. Duno.

[Otis Da HousKat]

To be honest I can't imagine too many people on Blockland like you very much either.

Maybe the way I just act in general.

Ya that's the one.

[Donnies Catch]

sounds like u dont have any self confidence
ur 16, ull get out of it. but get a hobby (pref outside hobby), dress better, chin up, style ur hair, spend time on that hobby, get better at it.
its hard to like tell you how to change, but ive been in your position at around 14 years old.

[espio100]

To be honest I can't imagine too many people on Blockland like you very much either.
Ya that's the one.

Probably because im just stupid and type out the first thing that comes to mind, wich isnt the best.

Im very different in rl tough. Here I just straight out say something because its p much anonymous and doesnt have much consequences

sounds like u dont have any self confidence
ur 16, ull get out of it. but get a hobby (pref outside hobby), dress better, chin up, style ur hair, spend time on that hobby, get better at it.
its hard to like tell you how to change, but ive been in your position at around 14 years old.

Social anxiety comes with a crippling low self confidence so im not suprised
My hobby is shooting (not the school twats) but thats indoors.
My hairstyle is the "just woke up" style because im too lazy to do so and my dress style is 'whatever is on top in the closet'
I honestly dont bother and dont care looking good. Id say I look alright-ish tough. Atleast I got rid of my stuffty bowlcut

[Akio-]

did my bideo make you sad
also Self Delete is THE worst possible thing you can do to your friends and family because you're leaving a permanent emotional scar that will never heal.
youre in a spot in your life where your social position can easily change. don't get upset over it, take the initiative to change.

[espio100]

did my bideo make you sad
also Self Delete is THE worst possible thing you can do to your friends and family because you're leaving a permanent emotional scar that will never heal.
youre in a spot in your life where your social position can easily change. don't get upset over it, take the initiative to change.

I was joking about the killing myself part
I do it quite often if you havent noticed. Well the joking, not the killing obviously.
I probably shouldnt do it :/

[Space1255]

Try to find a new group of friends. If they're hitting you over some menial bullstuff like stepping on shoelaces, then they're obviously a bad influence on you. Bonus douchebag points to them if they're really making you want to kill yourself, assuming you aren't joking.

[c]

I always think they think of me as some annoying brat or a piece of human waste in general. Im the silent type so I dont get where the annoying part goes. Maybe the way I just act in general. Duno.

Realizing you have a problem is the first step to solving it. The more you deny the worse it will get and the more people won't want to be around you.

[espio100]

Try to find a new group of friends. If they're hitting you over some menial bullstuff like stepping on shoelaces, then they're obviously a bad influence on you. Bonus douchebag points to them if they're really making you want to kill yourself, assuming you aren't joking.

Nah theyre cool. He prolly had a bad day. Honestly the guy who hit me never hurts a fly, well except today. Hes really kind tbh.
And the friends I have now are probably the only people my age who share the same interests

Realizing you have a problem is the first step to solving it. The more you deny the worse it will get and the more people won't want to be around you.

I dont really have a problem or bother people, its just that i constantly think I do.
Or atleast I hope im not

[sir dooble]

I was joking about the killing myself part
I do it quite often if you havent noticed. Well the joking, not the killing obviously.
I probably shouldnt do it :/

It's okay if you do have thoughts like that. Just ask for help, don't keep it to yourself.

[Akio-]

I was joking about the killing myself part
I do it quite often if you havent noticed. Well the joking, not the killing obviously.
I probably shouldnt do it :/

what about my bideo

[espio100]

It's okay if you do have thoughts like that. Just ask for help, don't keep it to yourself.

No seriously, it was just a stupid joke.
But thanks for your concern, it honestly means allot to me.

what about my bideo

Bideo?