i basically gave up, then someone suggested an alternate perspective on the whole situation and now i'm torn again. my only reliable contact in the situation is effectively permanently unavailable. i have nothing to go on and it's basically impossible to tell AT ALL whether ex is angry at me or is pushing away due to depression, anxiety, insecurity, etc.
in the former case i obviously don't want to touch the situation or everything will implode. but in the latter case, the best thing i could do would be to try, try again. i'm getting the entire gamut of advice; i've heard suggestions from fellow panickers, from tough guys, from wiseguys, from kids, from elders, from recluses, from sociopaths, from everywhere in between, and basically as far as i can tell there is no right answer.
-gah, hear me man? gah.-