Gorilla Simulator 2016

[Poliwhirl]

You awake in a daze.

You look around. If you didn't know any better, you would think you were back in your Rwandan mountain territory with your good pals Gorbuntu, Rignor, and Larry. But you know better. You are in a gorilla enclosure in the Asheboro Zoo, located in Apex, North Carolina. You've just woken up, so you have not yet eaten your daily peace offering from the significantly inferior primate, Linda. A really talkative one, that Linda is. So are all the other strange Lindas that appear behind the barrier of your designated territory. You have taken to calling these creatures Neo-Lindas.

What will you do first?

[Ad Bot]

[kongo]

whip richard out for fallen brother

[Poliwhirl]

whip richard out for fallen brother

The average length of an erect Silverback Gorilla's phallus is only 1.5 inches, or 4 cm. Even despite the fact that your genitalia is always exposed, you doubt there will be any feasible whip-outs.

[kongo]

shove banana in crotch to mimic richard

[hotremox]

become harambe

[Nicepoint]

See if there are any fallen humans nearby

[Poliwhirl]

shove banana in crotch to mimic richard

You aren't sure what this has accomplished.

become harambe

Unfortunately, Harambe is irreplaceable.

See if there are any fallen humans nearby

It's too early. The Neo-Lindas have not yet arrived.

[Mr.Blocko]

Wait for Linda to come in then forget em'

[kongo]

whip out banana richard for harambe

[GrapeJellyToastMan]

Pay respects to harambae

[Refticus]

become a scientist

[Conan]

wander near the edge of the enclosure to wait for stupid children mini-Neo-Linda peace offerings to drop from above

[Poliwhirl]

whip out banana richard for harambe

The banana-phallus has already been sufficiently exposed.

become a scientist

Your intelligence stat is too low for that!

Wait for Linda to come in then forget em'

wander near the edge of the enclosure to wait for stupid children mini-Neo-Linda peace offerings to drop from above

The smaller Neo-Lindas do not appear until after Linda Prime has appeared.
Speaking of Linda, here she comes right now, with 3 fresh buckets of roots and fruits. Your favorite.
Here's what she looks like.

It appears as though the other gorillas have not yet woken up. What will you do?

[Refticus]

unleash your primal rage and commence love

[Space1255]

Punch through the glass