I am literally laughing at both the OP and the defendant, since both are complete idiots.
I'd expect that the last person to be triggered by someone as insignificant as Pastry Crust to be Patton, but I guess I really was wrong, despite the guy's age. He does have issues.
As for Pastery Crust, I could get so many of your past stuffposts that I could rip you a new one for an entire year. But since people like you who try too hard make me shake my head. Sometimes I think that you're one of those people whos existence is one long, drawn-out gag.
I'll /support anyway, but this isn't really a situation of "The better of the two evils" kind of deal.