i haven't really played much of too many servers, but i can give my 2 cents on baystation since that's the one i keep coming back to and the one i've contributed to
it's a bit quiet most of the time. lowpop rounds can get pretty dull, but highpop is a bit better. bit heavy on the rules and guidelines, but as long as you're civil and make an effort of following them, the admins don't have as much of a stick up their ass as some people seem to think. definitely not the server for you if you're after the chaotic fun playstyle of goon and such, but if you like slower server that puts roleplay up at the top so much so that they crack down on half-assery and powergaming, it's good fun.
recently enough, the server switched (?) to a new map, the SEV Torch, a solgov ship. this upped the "superfluous regulations bleh" factor even more and i honestly haven't gotten used to it so far, but i've yet to really play all that much of it since the map rolled in just as my interest started to shift again.
overall, i'd say BS12 isn't the stuck-up clique heaven that it's made out to be. it's a bit hard to get used to, and not for everyone, but i personally like it more than any other ss13 server