at some point it became impossible to fit in here unless you were hostile, which is especially obvious when you look at the way people treat young kids or newcomers. everybody feels like they gotta uphold some kinda tough guy act or else they'll get bullied by someone else trying to uphold a tough guy act.
honestly a big part of the problem here is probably the incredibly lenient rules. its just kind of human nature to try and push the limits of set rules, and the rarely enforced no flaming rule is pushed a lot, leading to conditions like this.