can't really say. i don't feel anything atm
It's easy to jump to depression but really it could just as easily be a severe case of the instant gratification monkey.
Advice for depression: There is no magic cure for it, just wait it out. The difference between 18 and 20 is insane. If you think you're about to kill yourself, talk to a professional who gets paid to deescalate that kind of situation, if not, don't talk about it to anyone. Some care-bear is going to get mad at me and tell me that talking it out is the key or some gay stuff but it isn't. The less you hear yourself talking about how forgeted up you are in the head the less you'll actually believe you are. Revisit the problem in two years.