thanks to adolescent animal abuse, farm life, suicidal experience, my own brushes with death and gore binges, death is nothing to me. ive been desensitized to the idea since i was incredibly young. death is rather fascinating to me. watching someone die quicker than you can blink is shocking, but not in a terrifying way. something about it strikes an unfortunate but beautiful nerve. its incredibly interesting and humanizing. it really puts reality into perspective and makes you value the things i feel like most people dont. i dont hate anyone. i love where i am. i love the people im surrounded by, even the ones i dont like. the mornings are serene and the nights are beautiful. i miss high school. i dont regret anything
i personally haven't dealt with death very much - i've yet to have important family members of mine pass away, but i've really just come to accept that stuff comes and then goes. at some point of my life i started to genuinely wonder why people become so affected by the loss of somebody. that's mostly just because i'm lonely in a way but also becuase i've always treated death differently to what i always see others treat it as so. i'm not denying it's painful and heartbreaking - it's definitely extremely impactful, but I honestly treat death more of a 'let's reflect on the past! let's be extremely thankful for everything this person has ever provided to me in my life and to others in their life, and celebrate how fantastic they were as a person!' more then something like 'OHHHHHH how the forget am i going to live ever again now that they're gone??'. funerals slightly confuse me becuase it's such a depressing thing to attend, yet, honestly i feel as if we should be celebrating the life that the person had, instead of constantly being sad of their loss. celebrating everything they achieved, their determination they must've had in order to do whatever they've done in their life and honestly just how lucky we were to be close friends to somebody that amazing. why should we spend our time constantly being depressed of their loss when we could accept that everything is temporary, and that the life that they have had was the best that we could've possibly made it. i'm, of course, talking more of dying of oldness then something actually depressing such as being in an accident, a disease or even cancer, as somebody dying due to something that completely wasn't their fault is far more depressing then having a full life and dying of old age.
we really should just celebrate the life we get, instead of wasting our lives being frightened of the inevitable end.
