Author Topic: I'm so loving depressed (Read 2454 times)

Sheepocalypse · March 10, 2018, 10:09:00 PM

Look, I know the blockland forums isn't the place for posting this, but whenever I post on larger communities, I am usually ignored as my stuff gets lost in everyone else's posts.

I've been depressed for years. Probably since 8th grade. Ever since the new year, its been getting so bad and I've lost motivation to do anything. I feel so hopeless.

I'm terrified of graduation. Yeah, I finally get out of high school. I got accepted to college. Its not a great one, but it'll do. I should be so happy for myself.
Except I'll probably never see my friends again. I'm only happy when I am around my friends. Without them, I don't know what would happen to me. It happened in middle school, and my other highschool, too. I'll eventually fade from their mind within a few months.

I feel like I'm worthless. I try so hard at everything I do, and I still get scowled for it. Its like no matter how hard I try, I am never good enough. My grades suck, I'm always getting yelled at at work, and my parents/anyone else never have anything positive to say to me. Its taken such a toll on my self esteem.

Nothing excites me anymore. Every day, I wake up and lay in bed for hours until I have to go to work or school. When I have weekends off, I wake up, and spend all my time in bed with my emotions. I can't find any joy in stuff I loved to do like play videogames, model stuff, or anything.

I feel like I have nobody to talk to. My best friend, who is the only person I talk to about this stuff, is going through an extremely difficult time and I would feel awful if she was worried about me. She knows about my depression, but I haven't told her that its gotten significantly worse. I'm giving her a lot of time before I say something, but right now, I feel so loving terrible. Its like I have a physical pain within me. I can't tell any of my other friends because I'm the last person you would expect to have these type of emotions. To them, I'm the happiest kid who makes funny jokes, and laughs all the time. I also have a huge issue talking about my feelings. I get so anxious and I ball up whenever I talk about it.

Sorry for posting this. I guess I just needed to vent. I have so many emotions bundled up inside of me.

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PhantOS · March 10, 2018, 10:12:41 PM

I don't think anything we say here is worth the thought. You should talk to a school guidance counselor / get a psychiatrist or shrink. Everyone experiences some form of depression in their life, it's part of growing up and reacting to your environment. But everyone experiences it differently, which is why our advice can't help you much. See someone who specializes in this field, as they can give you the help you need, that is personalized toward you.

Once you graduate your life is gonna shift drastically. You'll be worth more to yourself because you'll be an adult and your actions will have big consequences, good and bad. You'll also need to find your own voices and creativity in order to be sane. If you model, try switching things up, doing what you want rather than what other people want. I escaped a two year depression by modeling an Easter island moai, which everyone thinks is strange, but it was entirely my creation and original. Whenever things get bad I look back on that stuff and realize I have the power to be unique and make my own form of happiness. You should try something like that too, doesn't have to be a statue. It could be an art project or a poem, it helps you get the stuff in your brain out when nobody's there to listen

Red Spy · March 10, 2018, 10:16:24 PM

become orthodox

Darth C3P0� · March 10, 2018, 10:22:10 PM

Try talking to a friend or parent about it, maybe a guidance counselor.
If you ever feel like no one really cares about you or your just swept aside for whatever reason, just know that people care. Be you, and I hope it gets better man.

Superfun909 · March 10, 2018, 10:27:31 PM

Hey, you're not worthless. I'm not experienced with depression, I'm only 12, after all. But think about the good things in life, try doing something fun, talk to some friends, make new friends, just try not to focus on how you feel worthless, and instead focus on the good. That's all I can really say to help.

Also, remember that you can always chat with people on your devices. Video chat may be better, though, it's more personal than text.

Kevso · March 10, 2018, 10:35:00 PM

Quote from: PhantOS on March 10, 2018, 10:12:41 PM

I don't think anything we say here is worth the thought. You should talk to a school guidance counselor / get a psychiatrist or shrink. Everyone experiences some form of depression in their life, it's part of growing up and reacting to your environment. But everyone experiences it differently, which is why our advice can't help you much. See someone who specializes in this field, as they can give you the help you need, that is personalized toward you.

This.

Also, feel free to vent here.

Sheepocalypse · March 10, 2018, 10:41:48 PM

Thanks guys.
I may not reply to everyone but I read everyone's posts.

I think the main issue is I have absolutely no time. Its a 24/7 grind. Along with school, I work an average of 45 hours a week. Any days off are days that I have to spend doing household maintenance. Very rarely do I have true time for myself. I don't even have time to eat.

Funny thing about eating, actually. I know its bad but I've lost almost 25 pounds. Haven't ate since last friday. Feel like stuff but I'm finally getting skinnier.

Kevso · March 10, 2018, 10:43:19 PM

Quote from: Sheepocalypse on March 10, 2018, 10:41:48 PM

Thanks guys.
I may not reply to everyone but I read everyone's posts.

I think the main issue is I have absolutely no time. Its a 24/7 grind. Along with school, I work an average of 45 hours a week. Any days off are days that I have to spend doing household maintenance. Very rarely do I have true time for myself. I don't even have time to eat.

Funny thing about eating, actually. I know its bad but I've lost almost 25 pounds. Haven't ate since last friday. Feel like stuff but I'm finally getting skinnier.

You need to give yourself a break. Work a part time or even quit your job and get your stuff together. It's never a good thing to be on a 24/7 grind with no time to enjoy yourself.

Taciturn · March 10, 2018, 11:11:15 PM

It isn't for everyone, but I have found that running and biking are awesome ways to work things out. Exercise makes me feel fantastic whenever I start thinking about the future and start falling back into my harmful habits.

Also do try to seek help if things seem hopeless. That's what they exist for after all.

MrFizzyCat · March 10, 2018, 11:52:54 PM

I hope all gets better & well for you. We're all here for you, even if we're handicapped sometimes.
Good luck! (:

Mardalf · March 11, 2018, 12:46:16 AM

Venting can help

I feel like I should have some life changing advice because I had pretty awful depression for like the past 7 years and then it just faded away in the past 6 months but it's different for everyone

Now I just gotta wait and see if I have super mania/depression that has 7 year cycles

TomTheGeek� · March 11, 2018, 03:16:08 AM

i've only had a lightweight depression over the stuff that's been happening recently but what works for me that might not work for you is changing stuff up.

don't like where you work? try as hard as you can to find a new job. i just came back from my last day of my old job and i feel amazing knowing the fact i don't have to go back to the stuffty place i called work for 3 years.

don't like your friends? drop them. it worked for me. it's a stuffty experience because all i really do now is watch youtube or listen to music but i feel so loving liberated i'm not in a circle full of starfishs anymore (or somewhat in a circle)

school is a tricky richardy situation. since you seem to be in high school, there's loads of opportunities to see a consouler or social worker on the premises. all i have to say is either talk to them or tough it up for the last 8 or 10 weeks of high school. once you're out you'll never see the same people ever again in your life.

other than that, i'd feel the same way as you. waking up just to be a worthless piece of stuff. waking up to no shift at work because of a hours cut that never seems to end for me, no school because i wanted to get away from education for a year, just total silence of thought on what i want to do in life. it's getting better for me at least, and i'll ride the wave to the next era.

gr8dayseth · March 11, 2018, 03:28:35 AM

Quote from: Sheepocalypse on March 10, 2018, 10:09:00 PM

Sorry for posting this. I guess I just needed to vent. I have so many emotions bundled up inside of me.

hey no worries, i know how much venting and explaining ur problems to someone who can listen and understand can help out. i do hope u can somehow overcome all these emotions and problems as soon as u can man

Sheepocalypse · March 11, 2018, 07:11:11 PM

I want to quit my job so loving bad. I've been considering doing it soon, like either this week or the next. I just don't want to hear the neverending stuff my parents are going to give me because, "Jesus, a fast food job is too hard for you?"

Superfun909 · March 11, 2018, 07:58:09 PM

try to discover a hobby, art, programming, music, etc. then find a job that allows you to use the hobby, i don't know.

just--whatever you do, don't end your life, don't even consider it. you'll get over it eventually, stay strong. and if your life feels meaningless as a whole, find a religion, i'm catholic, and it makes me happy to have some sort of meaning to my life.