go back to having a panic attack over gay people, handicap
anyway update
i cannot call the cops. for starters there isnt a way for me to do it since my parents are always at home, and even if i call them, at worst they won't do anything and at best i'll get baker acted which would be horrible because those places are loving disgusting and full of horrible people, plus they wouldn't let me take any of my stuff if i do end up going into a foster home so i'd have to abandon my entire room and my pet lizard which i am NOT doing.
my dad is now policing everything i do. out of principle he makes me do every single thing around the house, and even when i do all the chores i have to do he still won't let me have free time solely because he doesn't want me to have any free time. i can't even eat anymore without permission and when i do i have to do it under their supervision. he's also been constantly pulling me aside just to brag about other people with horrible home lives in an attempt to make himself look better, such as talking about this one amputee girl who'se dad never gave her any passes despite being permanantly crippled, trying to make it look like that's gonna help me in the future. he also bragged about how he got rid of his stepdaughter's pet rabbits when she wasn't home, and then vaguely implied that he would do that same to me (he said "i got rid of [stepdaughter]'s stuff and she loves me!" (im almost certain my stepsister is in the same position as i am. i wouldn't know))
also my grandma is dying. she's refusing treatment and continuing to smoke. i don't know how long she has left.
poggers.
