Author Topic: helltaker review  (Read 12506 times)

helltaker fans when they see a 6 year old outside

helltaker players when they coom to hasbin hotel r34 for the 14th time, post the funny rabbit big on r/dankmemes, and watch 2000 year old anime vampire research


nix what game will you review next

petition for hazbin hotel review

nix what game will you review next
if we're gonna go with games i hate but never actually played like i usually do im planning on doing changed next

new video game review comin soon. bros.

new video game review comin soon. bros.
what's it gonna be this time, don't leave us hanging

im guessing fall guys





changed is a top-down exploration-heavy puzzle game with "alot of chase scenes". as the unfortunate victim of some ungodly, inhumane experiment, you must escape a dark and gruesome facility, being chased by disgusting liquid-bodied biproducts of disgusting illegal science projects and avoiding the ultimate fate of becoming a body horror abomination, your cells having liquefied into a thick primordial slop.

...is what i would say, if this game wasn't made by a horny furry.

as they do, furries decided to ruin another genre i've always been familiar with; body horror-based sci fi. i swear to god if i had a dollar for every single piece of media furries decided to latch their eternally cum-stained, unwashed stubby fingers onto i'd be able to buy myself an ounce of happiness in this loving world. they already ruined dnd for me so what do they do? they ruin body horror. HOW do you ruin body horror? this is how.

as i explained, you're a human. your goal is to stay a human. to do this you have to explore a science lab and escape without getting attacked by monsters.

said monsters are furries. goo furries, to be exact. the game specifies that they're made of latex, of course. why wouldn't it. forget you

you're just some random dude (who is also basically naked because of course he is) running from the game dev's murrsona through the most boring and drab science lab ever designed, probably because said game dev put all of his artistic effort into drawing the borderline researchographic transformation scenes instead of making a decent setting. i dont even know how people are expected to react to this game. i dont know what the dev's vision was other than making research and putting it onto steam (see: helltaker) and the funny thing is? almost nobody has played this game outside of furries. look up "changed game" on google and the only playthroughs were made by literal special interest channels or self-proclaimed furries who have "rawr" as part of their everyday vocabulary, so i'm just gonna assume that the dev made this for the sake of it being a research game and it getting put on greenlight was an afterthought



i hate to repeat myself since i basically said the exact same thing about smelltaker but i MUST say again; what the forget is the point of a game like this. you can hardly even call it a game; its interactive research, if you're into literal ms paint drawings getting melted down into sweaty furries in bad engrish. at this point why even make it interactive at all? the game's hardly even a game anyway; it was made in rpg maker as you can tell (the gamedev does not mention this but he does suck himself off about how smart his "choices" in the game's design were; said choices are literally just rpg maker's restrictions, such as 4 directional movement lol) so he clearly doesn't give a stuff about actually being a gamedev perse. he could've easily just drew some nasty transformation research and put it on furaffinity where we, normal people, wouldn't have to know it exists but he chose to make a game out of it?? like bruh why

anyway back to the game. i havent played it because i value myself as a person but it's basically just an rpg maker hallway with puzzles and occasional chase scenes. the chase scenes are literally on the front of the box; our gamedev dragon "sloppy seconds" snow is really proud of the chases. i use rpg maker and i can tell you that chase scenes are hands down one of the easiest things you can possibly make in the engine; there is literally a variable in any npc event you make that makes the npc automatically chase you in the most direct route possible. one of the game's defining features is literally just a default variable in rpg maker

if we're gonna talk about the story i can't be forgeted because a. havent played it and b. dont want to play it but if i did want to read it i'd have one hell of a time because the dude can't speak english very good. the entire game is in some pretty damn funny engrish; he couldn't even be bothered to have someone vocabulary check the steam description, let alone his game

of course though most of this can be brushed off since it's still, as it stands, just a furry research game. there's thousands like it just fermenting deep in the internet and there's no reason to really bring attention to any of them.

changed is different however.

how is this stuff popular.

it's not popular ANYMORE of course, i havent heard about it in 2 years but when it first came out i swear to god it was forgetin HORRIBLE because of how many people were just talking about how SUPER COOL it was. it's nowhere near the absolute loving stuffstorm helltaker caused but it was still notable. i remember i had a friend very briefly and when changed came out the dude loving lost it and got really annoying about it, obsessing over one of the characters in the game (the black one i dont know their name they all look the loving same) and refusing to shut up about it. stuff was loving annoying

i guess i can thank my lucky stars the game didn't gain the amount of traction stuff like fnaf or undertale did or stuff would've gotten a LOT worse. but as it stands, its another stuffty research game that's on steam with an unreasonably high rating. sorry i didnt get very into this review there wasnt much to get mad at this time but hopefully this will bide time for the next Review




also the death scenes are called "transfurs" which makes me want to twist my spine until it go crack
« Last Edit: August 22, 2020, 02:02:36 PM by Nix the Glaceon »

gift me steam games to review haha :)

Okay but Puro is still best boy though

look at my steam profile trololololol



2.2 hours played
Probably the amount of time needed to get to the only good part of this game where you meet Puro face to face