damn. i remember the times we used to talk and play games together, he was always really loving cool on the outside and had this nice deep voice that i cant get out my head. he was also really manipulative and narcissistic. the last conclusion i came to when i spoke to him was that he was a brooding self-centered psychopath. i dont exactly remember what he did to offend me so much but i clearly remember him being on the list of people i most hate. i only hope for the sake of his friends and family that i'm wrong or that he went through some sort of positive personality change before his death.
i really want to be wrong about him and believe that he was good person but just his very name brings me back to some time of repressed rage and confusion. i remember him opening up to me and i bought him some steam game as a token of friendship and then he went on this extremely degrading rant about how i was worthless or something and i was projecting my insecurity on him. he then went on to basically harass me at every turn for months and i would ignore him for the entire time until he faded out of existence, figuratively and literally. its actually upsetting me that he never apologized and now he's loving dead and i can't tell whether i feel good or bad. but either way he's gone and i have to at least respect him for trying to be a good friend. i wish he was still alive because there's a lot i'd like to tell him, maybe play one last game or something and let go of my anger and see the good in him one last time. i genuinely miss him
