but they can't help and nobody can understand you like you can if you even can understand yourself and so I feel alone because the only person that can help you is you, so it's just me and me in the world
Have you felt like this all your life Mardalf?
If not, did someone die recently?
If not that, did you just have a existential crCIA? Ego death?
If none of the above good luck. I think everyone can relate to feeling alone. Even on a individual basis. But feeling alone the majority of the time sounds very sad. I understand feeling against all the odds for a extended period of time but not forever, and not alone.
You have a dog? Really any animal or being to care for that can express affection helps.
Are you religious? I understand many find it comforting for a omnipotent being to watch over them and guide them in their lives.
Good luck mardalf in your quest for meaning, or in the very least a connection you feel right with. If there was something more I could say to benefit you more I would. I hope you find what you are wanting for.