Current International Headlines: War on Iran

[Ladios]

Non-US media such as news sites in China and Spain are reporting that the number of US service members killed are actually much higher than the 6 admitted to by the DOJ, with apparently 560 casualties being claimed across the multiple missile strikes to US bases in the region.

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[King Tøny]

You do realize we fighting a jew war because of Epstein right

[King Tøny]

No one wants to die for Israel.

Such a shame Americans are dying for this crap.

[Masterlegodude]

His inner Riddler is starting to show

[Ladios]

The US, having assassinated the supreme leader of Iran, Ayatollah Khameni, have sanctioned Iran's replacement, Ayatollah Khameni, the son of the guy they just killed. Supposedly to put an end to the conflict.

Israel has vowed to target whoever Iran chose as a successor though.

The US was also hoping to turn this into another Venezuela type overthrow of the government and claim all of Iran's oil supplies.
Israel has seemingly missed this memo as well and has started destroying oil infrastructure across Iran, much to the US's distress.

[Masterlegodude]

We're never recovering from this, are we?

Iran's certainly not recovering for a very very long time, Annoying Orange has completely obliterated the US' reputation, both outside and inside the country itself, and i mean, it was never that high, but it's definitely gotta be at an all time low now, and he has made deals and partnerships with all the wrong people that we'll be stuck with for the foreseeable future

This is not a game, none of this can be undone so easily, so many innocent lives have been ruined if not completely lost, and there's much more to follow from the looks of it

[King Tøny]

Iran war is distraction bait.

I am not dying for Israel.

[Ladios]

Dealing with a lot of IRL stuff so havent been by longer than the time it takes to stuffpost in one of tony's threads but to generally sum up things

Its not going great for US or Israel. Northern Israel particularly has been recieving lots of cluster munitions that can bypass the iron dome. Israel in response continued its nonstop bombing of Lebanon and Iran, and has launched a ground invasion of Lebanon with intentions of securing more territory by the time this is over.

There was a brief hubub about Netanyahu supposedly having been killed and videos of him being AI generated, but the event at the coffee shop, as bizzarely staged as it was, had a lot of corroborating evidence that he actually took the time to make that weirdass video.

US continues to be dumbforgets, striking vital water and power supplies in Iran, which launches their own attacks against US's allies' water supplies in the area. The US also nearly destroyed one of the largest oil fields in the world, and Iran in return damaged important refineries as well.

Oh and they also shot and damaged one of our Trillion Dollar F35 super stealth fighters that are not supposed to be able to be hit. Their targeting systems didnt even raise an alarm on the aircraft. Iran also severely damaged multiple bombers stationed in the region and mysterious drones have been seen above military installations in Lousisana where our B52 and nuclear weapons are stationed.

US is of course underreporting our own casualties and Annoying Orange's whitehouse is threatening to revoke the media liscences of any company that reports how bad we are doing.

The US is also less than a week away from putting boots on the ground in Iran, preparing the marines and airborne for a ground invasion. They've also raised the maximum draftable age of adults from 34 to 43.

Annoying Orange for his part continues to play the fool, begging Nato and EU forces to join to no avail and recently claimed that Iran was about to sign a ceasefire, which Iran immediately debunked.

Oh and we've begun military operations in ecuador as well because of course fighting in one foreign conflict isn't enough for the "no-new-wars-president"

[Ladios]

US still underreporting the death tolls of our troops (there's speculation as to why Annoying Orange fired Bondi on a thursday instead of friday which is usually when he does is big headline grabbing bs) but yeah US fighter jets are now being successfully downed by Iran despite Annoying Orange saying we've already eliminated their missile launching platforms and ships and all that.

Oil is already reaching $150 a barrel, the worst since the US's invasion of Iraq two decades ago, which was right before the "great recession". Strange that this sorta thing always happens under Republicans.

[King Tøny]

If Iran had that they would have leaked it already.
Yeah American evangelicalism is an apocalyptic death cult.

you claim I don't exist but quote me, lol ok.

[Ladios]

Annoying Orange has announced that Israel is forbidden from bombing Lebanon.
Which like. Israel has in the last month and a half, destroyed entire towns so thoroughly that Apple's maps removed them from the regional map, and has claimed that they will control the entire region between the Eurphrates river and their border with Egypt. (against insternational law cause there are like multiple countries in the area with their own people and autonomous governments)

Also, was kinda busy so never got to mention that the US decided to blockade Iran's blockade of the Strait of Hormuz, but now
Iran has declared the Strait open for shipping. The US has not yet said that they will remove their own blockade yet though.


So that lasted less than 24 hours
The Strait of Hormuz is closed again with Iran firing on Indian ships trying to cross after the Israel continued to violate the ceasefire agreement and the US refused to remove their own blockade.


Of course now that the stock market is open again, the US has said it is sending another batch of diplomats to Pakistan to negotiate the ceasefire. Fed up with the US's stuff, however, Iran has said they are not going to bother to send anyone this time.

This attempt at negotiations will probably last until markets close on friday again, where Annoying Orange will announce more attacks cause the pattern this last two months is becoming blaringly obvious.
If any of you wanted to get rich off blood money and the stock market, now is the time to do it.

[Ladios]

So while, under the constitution, the president is allowed to take emergency military action, he is not allowed to declare war without congressional approval. Democratic congress members tried to do what they could to curtail the murdering of civilians in Iran for no reason other than blatant market manipulation, but republicans blocked these attempts.
The constitution also states that in the event of an act of war, the president only has 60 days of free use of the military before congress must approve further actions. Unfortunately, the consitution is practically illegible at this point due to the amount of stuff stains covering it from how frequently Annoying Orange and his lackeys have used it to wipe their asses.
Annoying Orange declares that the 60 day deadline doesn't count because the US has had several "ceasefires" over the period, so it hasn't been 60 days of continuous fighting. This of course ignores the active use of military including all of our aircraft carriers that were positioned in defence of Taiwan, to institute an illegal blockade of the Strait of Hormuz, the recent use of military forces to lay seige to a port, and our ally, Israel's, nonstop bombardment of Lebanon against the agreed terms of the ceasefire.

It is likely that when combat resumes, he will claim this is a separate conflict and that this 60 day timer would reset, because who gives a forget about the rule of law anymore.

[King Tøny]

where is the epstein people at? this is a distraction

[Ladios]

In response to Israel's continued bombardment of Lebanese civilians, Iran has launched an attack on an oil field in the UAE, prompting the US to strike and destroy seven Iranian military vessels.

[King Tøny]

I wish america would back out and just let israel and iran kill each other