Author Topic: Teds Text Adventure!!!  (Read 11304 times)

Ah but avast ye maties, Teds twin was reluctantly walking down the street (the middle of the street) where in a  drunken stupor, a truck driver hits and kill our beloved Ted II. Ted II, being a faithful Christan, is sent to hell. When questioned, The Devil simply told Ted II: "Remember senior prom?".

Now Ted II is stuck in the unloopholeable hell, he is as well equipped with a paradoxal teleport that, if entered, teleports you back into hell. It has a special electromagnetic field that disables all electronic devices including but not limited to:
Portal guns
Space ships
Stargates
Teleports
Warping rays
anything that could be used to escape Hell


It is guarded by demons who are completely invincible and can immediately teleport anyone back to hell from any distance, so even if he was galaxies away or in a different universe, Ted would immediately be summoned back to hell.

There is nothing to do in hell, and you fall so fast in the pit that you cannot grab onto doors or ledges, your arm would rip off. If you landed on a floor, your legs would break along with your neck. If you do anything but continue to fall, vital parts of your body break. If you die while in hell, you are immediately ressurected and teleported to the beginning of the pit, and begin falling once again.

Dead bodies who leave hell will crumble to dust because they require a special energy present only in hell to maintain themselves. if such happens, you will be anchored to wherever the body crumbles until you are summoned back to hell.

Demons also have time correcting magics which can negate any supernatural or divine influence( i.e what you post / something god or an angel does )

If the Tardus or any of Doctor Whos reincarnations should enter hell they are instantly swept away back to Gallifrey.

With the parallel universes destroyed one would think that Hell would go along with it, but instead you fail to mention that parallel universes are practical elements of the physical world, whereas hell is simply a device created by religion as a scare tactic to keep people in line, thus cannot be destroyed because it is simply imagination, thus making it where everyone would go once the universe, or multiverse, are destroyed. Of coarse this leaves our friend doctor who in a bit of predicament because he now being in hell is not allowed to go in hell, but Gallifrey no longer exists, he is damned to a life of nothing, in a premature state similar to the one theorized of what would exist before the big bang.

Ted and Ted II have no other siblings and if there are any spurs of possible love childs in this or any universe, as stated above they are now all in hell.

AHG BEAT THAT. /lockthread


Ted was really Jesus lol.

Demons use their magic to neglect the above statement.

Demons use their magic to neglect the above statement.

No, it's not supernatural/divine influence, he's just Jesus, lol.


your supernatural influence is causing ted to be Jesus, without it, he would just be ted. thus they cut off your supernatural influence.


They can choose to deflect any post.

Edit to get rid of loophole.
Demons decide to neglect ALL posts from here forth that are not by Swholli or Rkynick.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2008, 10:56:22 PM by rkynick »

Everyone dies except me.

</story>

Oh man I remember that, that was over 2 years ago lol.

your supernatural influence is causing ted to be Jesus, without it, he would just be ted. thus they cut off your supernatural influence.


They can choose to deflect any post.

You can't just turn into Jesus, he was Jesus the whole time!

If he was Jesus he would've ascended into heaven, but he did not. Thus he is an imposter and I can still neglect all of your posts.

I've given it some thought and I think I can end this once and for all.

Everything is nothing, nothing is something, something is everything.

That is the world if you escape hell, but hell is inescapable, but in the off chance you escape, you are then in the same state as poor old doctor who.

The devil and his demons get bored with Ted after millions of years, and decide to let Ted go due to how annoying he was. Ted walks out the exit from hell, and is now free in an empty void, and begins to twiddle his thumbs.

The thumbs are strapped with time explosions given to him by the magical wizard of Copernicus 5, it is set off due to his twiddling and sends him back millions of years to where he first was sent to hell, the devil is no longer bored by him and if the day comes again where he is, the time bombs will still be there thanks to the 4'th dimension.

Father time sees this horrible event, and feels sympathetic for Ted. Father time then teleports Ted to his dimension of the sands of time, and sets him free to play and make time/sand/whatever castles. :D

Ted is happily playing with his Sand Castles for years on end, where he gets to the point where he can even make sand circuit boards. With his new sand computer ted surfs the net. Suddenly:

"Wake up Ted. The Matrix has you... Follow the white rabbit."

A white rabbit hops by, Ted follows like instructed to, where he finds the rabbit hole. Down and down he goes, while surprisingly being themed at the same time as The Wall if he plays it by the 3'rd roar.

When Ted hits the ground he wakes up to find his life has all been a computer generation and that he is now the one. Smith kills him. TEH END.

It turns out that Ted's little adventure has been an illustration by a cartoonist. The cartoonist then gets bored with the idea, and scraps the paper. He then redraws Ted at his house once again to begin original adventures all over again.

However you look at it, it all breaks down to that Teds life is simply controlled by a guy named Silver Fox and no matter how many cartoonists you throw at me its all still within Silver Fox's post, with that we release that it was all a stupid idea and that it should die.