Author Topic: Blockland Vending Machine! (OP missed 10 year anniversary and should feel bad)  (Read 1191594 times)

You get amusement.

* Talent74 inserts a crappy monitor.

I get a heart attack from rage

I insert an iPod

You get a Van halen record

i insert a cat

You get a horribly mutated dog.

I insert: a lion, a piece of sheet-music and a blanket

You get it all back, covered in dead aliens.

* Pi inserts 1 cent

You get 2 cent.

* Platinum inserts a very, very, very boring and long book.

you get pancakes

*Hemo inserts $5.50

You get syphillis.



* Sheezy inserts a vial of denatonium benzoate

you get research

*Hemo inserts a bucket of puke

you get research

*Hemo inserts a bucket of puke
You get a Boomer



* Fire paw inserts Everything yet nothing

You get a Boomer



* Fire paw inserts Everything yet nothing
The machine kicks you in the face for being a cigaretteeletto.
* Sheezy inserts a hamburger. My attempt to reciprocate is cut brutally short as my body experiences a sudden lack of electrons. Across a variety of hidden dimensions you are dismayed. John Lennon hands me an apple, but it slips through my fingers. I am reborn as an ocelot. You disapprove. A crack echoes through the universe in defiance of conventional physics as cosmological background noise shifts from randomness to a perfect A Flat. Children everywhere stop what they are doing and hum along in perfect pitch with the background radiation. Birds fall from the sky as the sun engulfs the earth. You hesitate momentarily before allowing yourself to assume the locus of all knowledge. Entropy crumbles as you peruse the information contained within the universe. A small library in Phoenix ceases to exist. You stumble under the weight of everythingness, Your mouth opens up to cry out, and collapses around your body before blinking you out of the spatial plane. You exist only within the fourth dimension. The fountainhead of all knowledge rolls along the ground and collides with a small dog. My head tastes sideways as spacetime is reestablished, you blink back into the corporeal world disoriented, only for me to hand you a hamburger as my body collapses under the strain of reconstitution. The universe has reasserted itself. A particular small dog is fed steak for the rest of its natural life. You die in a freak accident moments later, and you soul works at the returns desk for the Phoenix library. You disapprove. Your disapproval sends ripples through the inter-dimensional void between life and death. A small child begins to cry as he walks toward the stairway where his father stands.

you get pics of a fat guy

*Hemo inserts a ham

you get pics of a fat guy

*Hemo inserts a ham

You receive cyanide.
* Sheezy inserts a hamburger.  I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.

you get a crappy cd case

*Hemo inserts death

You get a sign saying "YIFF IN HELL"
* Sheezy inserts a hamburger. Why are we speaking German? A mime cries softly as he cradles a young cow. Your grandfather stares at you as the cow falls apart into patties. You look down only to see me with pickles for eyes, I am singing the song that gives birth to the universe.