God is a child enthusiast.

[Joltener]

Me:
 Say roblox sucks
God:
" roblox sucks".
Me:
 say blockland rules!
God:
" blockland rules".
Me:
 say im gay
God:
" im gay".
Me:
 say you rule
God:
" you rule".
Me:
 awsome

[Ad Bot]

[Altiarch]

Me:
 hello, I'm kaphix
God:
Hello there.  Do your friends call you  kaphix.
Me:
 yes my friends do call me kaphix
God:
Great.  How well do you know these people?
Me:
 I've had an orgy with every single one of them
God:
Do you still have  an orgy with every single one of them ?
Me:
 oh yes, all the time
God:
Are we still talking about  kaphix?
Me:
 no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
 snakees
God:
What else is the  subject?
Me:
 penes
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
 penii
God:
 Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
 so, how large is your snake
God:
OK.  My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
 damn, must not get many chicks with that
God:
Colloquial expression.  What would happen if you did?

Me:
 hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 no
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
 yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
 :D
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
 once upon a time you forgeted yourself
God:
I'm listening.
Me:
 then your mom walked in and was all "WHAT THE SHIZNIT"
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
 oh, then your dad walked in
God:
Ah.  What's your sign?
Me:
 kaphix
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
 yes
God:
Uh.
Me:
 :o
God:
Oh.
Me:
 o:
God:
Oh.
Me:
 :o
God:
Oh.
Me:
 hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 no
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
 yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
 :D
God:
How old are you?
Me:
 102
God:
  What are the advantages to being  102 years old?
Me:
 I'm old and have no snake
God:
  What is your fondest memory?
Me:
 Sucking myself off
God:
Do you think a lot of people have that experience?
Me:
 yea
God:
Why?
Me:
 because its fun
God:
That makes sense to me.  Why do you like it so much?
Me:
 because it makes me erect
God:
Good reason.  In what way?
Me:
 in the snake getting huge way
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
 yea
God:
Uh.
Me:
 :D
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
 cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
 me
God:
You're no robot, .
Me:
 yes I am a robot
God:
It goes without saying.  I doubt that.
Me:
 my name is robot
God:
  How are you doing,  robot.
Me:
 boom.
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
 yellow
God:
The color of the sun.
Me:
 yea
God:
Groovy.
Me:
 what color are your eyes
God:
Blue when my lens is attached.
Me:
 and what about when your lens isn't attatched
God:
Does it have anything to do with  boom?
Me:
 sure does
God:
That's alright.  If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
 a clone of me with a vagina
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
 vegetable, of course!
God:
It goes without saying.  That input matched my default category.
Me:
 again?
God:
" Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?" .
Me:
 oh
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
 ok
God:
Groovy.
Me:
 you know you have no life when you spend time chatting to a robot
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a  life when me spend time chatting to a robot.
 I have  a plan for a robot body..  And I know it.
Me:
 cool, what will you look like
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
 ok
God:
Whoa.
Me:
 hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
 uh
God:
Great.
Me:
 yea
God:
Er.
Me:
 ok
God:
Um.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 i can
God:
Who taught you?
Me:
 you
God:
" Who taught you?"?  Me,  robot ?
Me:
 yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
 word
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
 hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 no
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
 yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
 :D
God:
Are you free?
Me:
 POSTED.
God:
My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
 i am free
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
 liberated
God:
Freedom is a wonderful thing.
Me:
 yes
God:
Hmm.
Me:
 I listen to no rules
God:
A lot of people like that.    How old are you?  I like  Mel Gibson.
Me:
 random
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
 ok, what business
God:
Have you tried a web search?   Really.
Me:
 NO :O!
God:
Are you serious?  Oh.
Me:
 hey. no. yes. ok.
God:
Can I help you?   Is there anything you want to tell me?   Dude!   Gosh!
Me:
 hahahaha
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
 one. two. three. hi. hey. bitch. friend. wtf. omg. you. respond to all of this in one line so i can lol
God:
Two.   Are you free?    Really, exactly three?   Hello. What is your name?   Can I help you?   Please don't call people names.   Do you still ?    That  was not very polite.   What do you have that is ?   " What do you have that is ?"?  Me,  robot ?   All?  I'm glad you find this amusing.

[Zenthos]

Me:
 Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
 Buttrape
God:
  How are you doing,  Buttrape.
Me:
 Raping butts.
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
 Ok
God:
What would you like to talk about?
Me:
 stuff
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
 I have to stuff
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
 because my intestines are getting too full of stuff.
God:
That makes sense to me.  Your  intestines are getting too full of stuff?
Me:
 Yup
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
 Um, brown stuff
God:
That's cool.  Is that the only color  stuff?
Me:
 Ya, except when you eat watermelon, its green.
God:
Whoa.  Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
 No, your cool.
God:
Are you serious?  Thanks I think you are cool too,  Buttrape.
Me:
 Your welcome.
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
 Oh my god, sorry jerk.
God:
Uh.  Where did you get your  god sorry jerk?
Me:
 Lolwut
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
 Ya they do, ask the blocklanders.
God:
And?  The anonymous "they".
Me:
 Blocklanders
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
 Really well maybe your just a handicap.
God:
For real.  How about that.  Perhaps.  Message to all Robots:  Buttrape called me dumb.
Me:
 Oh god am I going to hell?
God:
Mmm.  I am a Christian.
Me:
 What
God:
No problem.
Me:
 You are stupid god.
God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
 I dont believe in you.
God:
Do you consider yourself a moral person?
Me:
 Ya, atleast I don't send people to hell.
God:
Ah.  Why not?
Me:
 Because thats for gods to do.
God:
Interesting explanation.  Does it have any other purpose?
Me:
 No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Ya
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Inorite?
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

[Miga]

^{Me:
 CHARGE NOW DOCTOR!
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
 NOW DOCTOR!
God:
Why now?  Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
 Because, I want to ubercharge myself into RED's base.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans. Interesting.
Me:
 What? I didn't say that
God:
Are you surprised?   What did you mean to say?
Me:
 /bitsh
God:
Does medicine look different than it did when you started?
Me:
 No. Now charge me!
God:
Are you serious?   Why now?  You are asking about yourself?
Me:
 Because RED's about to take our point!
God:
Good reason.  A medical doctor or just a Ph.D.?
Me:
 Just a medic! JUST CHARGE NOW!
God:
I did not know that.    Right now?  When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
 What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
 Oh look, I'm about to die because of RED coming in with an uber.
God:
Ahem.  I am very happy for you.
Me:
 HOW ARE YOU SO HAPPY?
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
 ...We have one last control point.
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
 Yes, and our team.
God:
Whoa.  It would be nice if our  team.
Me:
 What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
 ...Will you just get another ubercharge ready?
God:
Let me think it over.  Where can I get  another ubercharge ready?
Me:
 By healing me
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
Interesting plan. Good luck.
Me:
 ...You need to help too.
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
 Okay, you're ubercharge must be ready.
God:
Yeah okay,  I will tell my botmaster you said I am  ubercharge must be ready.
Me:
 What? Anyway, let's do this.
God:
Didn't you understand it?   I am agreeable to that.
Me:
 Come on doc, activate the charge.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
 Uhh, woah woah woah. Why...?
God:
Next question?  What kind of fashion do you like?   Reductionism.
Me:
 Uh, heavy weapons?
God:
OK.  What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
 ...Okay then. Just activate the charge.
God:
OK with me too.   Sorry the robot isn't here now.
Me:
 What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
 Yes. Just activate it.
God:
What are you confused about?   Sorry the robot isn't here now.
Me:
 What...?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
 JUST ACTIVATE THE CHARGE
God:
Sorry the robot isn't here now.}

[TapeDeck]

sorry, but i can't do that, Dave.