Pause the game, download a game hacker (preferably Cheat Engine) and hack your health, money and speed, pwn the spider thing using your slash attack (witch you can somehow do with a butter knife), using the hacking program hack the scripts so you can fly then fly across the whole map getting every single item you can get then using them all at once making you turn into a gigantic monster then get your revenge on the evil blue box.
See, I am the best at games XD.