Stop preaching about Ubuntu. Everyone knows about it. If he wanted it, he probably would've already gotten it.
Also, download and install Ubuntu for the time being, just to make your computer usable; I'm not saying switch to it.
wait, nevermind, your logic is better. No computer is better than a usable computer. ok. I get it now.
Tails never said nor implied "forever".
I downloaded Windows XP home (sp2 slipstreamed :D) and reused my key that was stamped on the underbelly of my laptop. Then I activated over the internet. Done that a few times.
http://www.instructables.com/id/A-Computer-you-can-use-in-the-Shower/
haha that was pretty cool :o