I've never offended someone's work before, but this is really, really terrible.
Edit: The wrong things.
The grammar is horrible and it's one big block of text, makes it annoying and tacky. The pictures and text are squashed and horribly laid out, and the background colour is well, nasty.
You referred to the money as "Dollars", it's not dollars, it's GP. Even though people will know what you're talking about, referring to them as dollars adds to the overall eye-killingness of the video.
You make it seem like people WANT to buy a parchment, blue vial and bolts. When they've bought this, they'll be like "... I've just wasted 80 GP".
You didn't explain that cursing is also a crime, and that you have to have 1 hour of play time before you can join the police force.
This looks like you've given a 10 year old a "Windows Movie Maker + AoT" package and this is the disgusting result.