Omegle, funny conversations. Post them here.

[Mr. Kibbles 09]

Stranger: hello!
You: Howdy
Stranger: how are you this evening?
You: quite good, thank you.
You: asl?
Stranger: 25 bi f usa
Stranger: you?
You: 48 m taiwan
You: Would you mind returning my hedge clippers?
Stranger: not at all.
Stranger: you can have them right back
You: Good. I was going to kill you if you did not.
You: But you did, so.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Ad Bot]

[Drak]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: horny girl looking for love.
You: I will forget your ass backwards, babe
Stranger: ohyeahh.
Stranger: give it to me, baby.
You: I rub your bountiful breasts.
You: THEN I PULL OUT A KNIFE AND TEAR OUT YOUR INTESTINES
Stranger: YESSS
Stranger: I LOVE DISMEMBERMENT.
You: I USE YOUR PELVIS TO CUT MYSELF
You: ASDF
You: IT HURTS SO GOOD
Stranger: you are my soulmate. <3
You have disconnected.

[Mr. Kibbles 09]

You: Hello
Stranger: hi
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
You: How long is your chode?
Stranger: what's a chode?
You: :p snake
Stranger: haha
Stranger: twat
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Stranger: hi
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
Stranger: wut?!?
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
Stranger: wut?!?
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
Stranger: chodee?!
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Stranger: Hello
You: Hi.
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
Stranger: good for you
Stranger: but
Stranger: I got a biger problem
Stranger: much biger
You: I also have a tiny twat.
Stranger: See im gona end my life
You: Don't do dat stuff, brother.
Stranger: But i need to find a way how to do it
You: why you do dat stuff, brother?
Stranger: See my life is miserable and i dont want to continue with this stuff
You: :( You need sum of Ricky's lovin' to brighten your days.
Stranger: Whos ricky? You?
You: Yes, I am Ricky. I have a 14 inch chode.
Stranger: brother, gay love wont make me feel any better. I need to get it ower with soon
You: :(
You: Go buy an Xbox 360. It will make you happy.
Stranger: Got one
You: Not in the reach-around sense.
Stranger: elite
You: Pwn me too bro.
You: 120 gb almost out :(
You: But, back to your problem.
Stranger: Yeah
You: Err....
Stranger: I tryed some things...
You: I hear drinking bleach does the job.
Stranger: but they all kinda slow and all
Stranger: ahh i just want to get it ower with fast and not be bawwing for some minutes
You: Hrm...
You: I could affixiate you with my chode.
Stranger: No homo.
You: :-:
You: ;_;
Stranger: Realy
You: Maybe Ricky's twat could help you.
Stranger: I need to find a way fast
Stranger: a dead body is right next to me
You: ;o
You: Lolwat
Stranger: i need myself cold wen the cops arive
You: Whos dead?
Stranger: I dont want to tell!
You: :P
You: You Miga or Digmaster?
Stranger: ?
Stranger: I dont understand you
You: Don't worry about it.
Stranger: stuff stuff stuff i can hear the sirens!
You: :OOOOO
Stranger: forget!
You: QUICK
Stranger: forget forget forget!
You: PUT YOUR CHODE IN YOUR MOUTH
Stranger: WHAT SHOULD I DO??!?!
You: HOLY stuff
You: WHER U LIVE
You: IMMA GUN THEM DOWN
Stranger: ohh forgetin crap im gona get the knife
You: k
You: Start with the chode then sliwly move up.
Stranger: Back
Stranger: Il just do the neck
Stranger: okay here it goes!
You: K.
Stranger: your the last person I am talking to
Stranger: ever
Stranger: good luck
Stranger: .
You: Hrm....I wonder how long it takes to bleed out :P
You: Keep typing stuff till ya die for my research pls.
Stranger: First cut husrts badly
Stranger: I dont think i can do it
Stranger: D:
You: Well, is it quite clear that you killed the person?
Stranger: ohh forget ther right outside
You: k
Stranger: he HAS BEEN THERE ON THE SOFA FOR 5 HOURS
You: Eww.
Stranger: OH MAH LAWD
You: It must stink like stuff.
Stranger: TEHYR IN THE HOUSE
Stranger: OMFsegrdthyju
You: Erm..
You: Say you were about to call 911.
You: You just found him.
You: So, I'll see you on the news, eh?
You: What state so I cud google later?
You: Ohay, policeman.
Stranger: Sir we will require your full name and addres and the date of birth.
You: I am not a sir.
You: I am a megatransmission.
You: with a 14 inch chode.
Stranger: Sir do not play games with us. This s a serious issue.
Stranger: Also, Sir.
Stranger: We will need your e-mails.
You: you want my chode?
Stranger: We will send you billion moneys
You: I get more than that from showing my chode on stage.
Stranger: And a picture of your manboobs with a note next to them that has the date of today written on it
You: Nou
Stranger: Yau
You: NO U
Stranger: YES U
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
Stranger: Billion million moneys?
You: And no manboobs on the premises.
You: I have woman bobs
Stranger: even better
You: :3
You: Want my chode ot be in the picture, too?
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: Please
You: Alright...
You: damn.
You: My camera's out of batteries.
Stranger: NOOooooo
You: Inorite?
You: How inconvienient :(
Stranger: But
Stranger: ann it will not work
Stranger: D:<
Stranger: You make policeman unhappys
You: Baww.
You: You are Miga is not nice guy.
Stranger: I am not a so called Miga
You: Steven?
Stranger: Yeah you got me
You: Pwnage.
You: How long is your chode, Mr. Policeman?
Stranger: acording to the last mesurment
Stranger: its 15.2 Centimeters
You: centimeters ;o
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
Stranger: Hmm lemme think
Stranger: 15.2 centimeters is around...
You: :3
Stranger: 5 inches?
Stranger: you got meee ! D:
You: My name is chode, I have a 14 inch Ricky.
Stranger: In soviet russia chode has ricky
You: 8====(,,,)===========================================D~~~~~~~~~~~O:
You: Ricky^
You: Ah god, it's so fun to troll in here XD
Stranger: True true
Stranger: Is hard tho
Stranger: cause like... You got to come up with storys and stuff
You: :( Ino man
Stranger: or be like... Hay my name is chode i haz ricky
You: ^_^
You: Sometimes I begin by saying
You: CALL THE POLICE!
You: HE'S STRANGLING ME
Stranger: hmm i remember wne
Stranger: wen
Stranger: i tryed "Hello, Im searching for a lady who would anonymously show her brests to me"
You: Lol
You: Any luck with that?
Stranger: Nah
Stranger: :/
You: :(
Stranger: Also
Stranger: [Omege automated message: Omegle is forced to inform you that the stranger you are talking has been found quilty of loveual harasment in the bast 2 years]
You: XD
Stranger: And then its like "haaay... How old are you?"
You: "This chat has been logged by the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) your IP address is 192.43.54.1 You are registered in the System, please wait while we contact local authorities..."
Stranger: Woah
You: But, that leaves you high and dry with the ":X I swear to jesus, they're on their way.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: how you do the text under it?
You: lolwat
Stranger: "This chat has been logged by the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) your IP address is 192.43.54.1 You are registered in the System, please wait while we contact local authorities..."
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: :OOO
You: Omfg
You: I didn't know it said that.
Stranger: theres a?
Stranger: realy I dont see that mine did it <_<
Stranger: "This chat has been logged by the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) your IP address is 192.43.54.1 You are registered in the System, please wait while we contact local authorities..."
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: <_<
You: :(
You: Heh, I'm posting the beginning of this.
Stranger: on where <_<?
You: www.blockland.us/smf
You: Somewhere in the off topic there's a Omegle thread.
Stranger: didnt know about a place like that but I got my own place where to post omegle shat
You: What that be?
Stranger: be
Stranger: /b/
You: Olawd
You: XD
Stranger: iknowrite?
You: loel
You: I might have to put the whole thing now :P
Stranger: D:<
You: >:(
Stranger: I need your e-mails and addresses kktnx?
You: Erm.
You: Not email. :P
You: Just made new one due to spamhammering.
You: And I hope you don't mean my home adress cus I'd be all like. -_-
Stranger: I do, I do.
You: Baww.
You: -_-
Stranger: So i can trow prick into window and all that fun stuff
You: But...
You: My name is Ricky, I have a 14 inch chode.
Stranger: That doesnt stop me
Stranger: Well i could write a name on the prick and draw a little face on it
You: You got a Steam or somethin?
Stranger: sure
You: I gotta cut this short :v
You: Username br0.
Stranger: I will require yours
Stranger: I will not gief out mine in a place like this <_<
You: Hold on, gotta start it up
You: 0_0 the people be watchin?
Stranger: totally
Stranger: fbi and stuff
You: Odamn
You: I said some bad things in here.
You: but uh..
You: deputy_johnsonmayer
You: PLEASE DON'T HACK ME FBI GUYS
You: Loel name
Stranger: it says the message every time you type FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: ?
You: omg.
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: IBF
You: :(
Stranger: Bro Butler... Sounds interesting
You: Yep
You: K, postin that stuff up. Cya bro.
Stranger: Cya
You have disconnected.

[Jaxx]

Stranger: hey
Stranger: whats up
You: NO ASLING
Stranger: lol uhh ok
Stranger: i completely agree
Stranger: i get tired of that stuff
You: K, then I don't need to use this.
Stranger: espeically since im a dude
You: Get. Off. The. Internet.
You: :D
Stranger: oh you have that ctrl v'd?
You: Yes. :D
Stranger: i see
Stranger: so
You: Whats up.
Stranger: nah much bro
Stranger: hangin out
Stranger: on the interwebs
You: doobie is da bomb
Stranger: lol doobie?
You: Meds are overrated.
Stranger: Do you mean marijuana?
Stranger: CAUSE THATS ILLEGAL
You: nah, that stuffs too bad
Stranger: Jeez
Stranger: what is doobie
Stranger: then
Stranger: thats mj my friend
You: MJ. ;_;
Stranger: mari juana
Stranger: not micheal "the boy toucher" jackson
Stranger: oh yeah i said it
Stranger: hes a god damn child enthusiast
Your conversational partner has disconnected



;_;

[Paw]

2749 users online

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heloo
Stranger: asl?
You: no
You: u
Stranger: im male
You: im female
You: how old :3
You: how old are you
Stranger: im 18
Stranger: :P u?
You: 19
You: do you masturbai alot
You: t
Stranger: yes lol
Stranger: :P
Stranger: r u horny?
Stranger: u ave msn?
You: i iz vry horny
You: no i dun have msn
You: get it on
Stranger: :P
Stranger: get msn
You: you start :3
Stranger: we can webcam
You: latr
Stranger: lol no now otherwise no point
Stranger: jus get msn so me nd u can webcam :P
You: but i wanna rub my snake up your back D;
Stranger: lol ok wer do u live
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

EWWWWW

[Katamari007]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi\
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: ._.
You: ?
Stranger: how old are u
You: 2- oh wait! i got someone tied up in the closet!!!! BRB
You have disconnected.

[SuperToxic]

I apologize for the bump. But this is quite humorous.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Hewwo
Stranger: whats up
You: Up - A direction in which the direction is above you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[SkyMaster]

sorry for the bump

You: omegle
Stranger: internet
You: computer
Stranger: laptop
You: snake
Stranger: fail!

[Jimmg]

You: Blooockland Amber sucks donkey richard
Stranger: she sure does
You: Cool I'll be back this whore in my house won't shut up.
Stranger: shoot the bitch
Stranger: then make love to the corpse
Stranger: use blood as lubricant
You: :D She's shut up for now.
You: Cool i'd do that but she's my sister.
Stranger: so?
You: You have no bounds :D
Stranger: bounds are a fairy tale
Stranger: but hey
Stranger: you're the one calling your sis a whore
You: She sure dresses like one
Stranger: girls these days
Stranger: seriously, they get slutty younger and younger
Stranger: 11 year old girls with cell phones
Stranger: what the hell do they need that for?
You: :< My 7 year old cousin wears a bikini.
You: I have no clue
Stranger: ='O
Stranger: why don't they just enjoy being a kid
Stranger: play pokémon or something
You: They deserve a good spankin
You: Nah pokémon has too many loving names you cant keep up with em anymore.
Stranger: oh yea, they sure do
Stranger: well I meant inmy days
Stranger: I stopped after the 3d series I think
You: Ya I remember when they only had 120 something pokémon.
Stranger: yea, those were the days
You: now they are in the 500's or so.
Stranger: I knew all 151 of the first series
Stranger: :p
You: hawthawt
Stranger: still do.. can't seem to forget them
You: OBSESSION :O
Stranger: playing pokémon on the gameboy everyday makes you learn them :p
Stranger: but that was the stuff, playing it in reall ife you know
Stranger: still want to do that tbh =(
You: Ya
Stranger: but you know, cell phones can be funtoo....
You: I think i have some of the old cartridges with the origional gameboy.
You: I dont own a cellphone goverment eyes be listening man.
Stranger: yea, they're everywhere dude
Stranger: even though I'm all over the ocean, they're all over the place
You: ;[
Stranger: so, did you get ur sis to put some clothes on?
You: She's wearing a long shirt right now.
Stranger: that's great
You: Bitch bitch bitch moan moan moan.
Stranger: slap slap slap
Stranger: spank spank spank
You: hawt hawt hawt
Stranger: ah, srsly though, gotta respect the female species
Stranger: they done some great stuff
Stranger: like....
You: But they're always whining about how we don't treat them equally.
Stranger: yea, oh god, the hypocrisy
You: If they want to be treated equally I want to be able to flat out punch em.
Stranger: so true, they slap our asses
You: Kick our nads :<
Stranger: and when we slap back, oh no, that's domestic violence, ooooh
You: Pisses meh off :<
Stranger: and face it, we're not equal
Stranger: I mean, a woman will never make an equal good policeman, fireman, etc
Stranger: may sound cliche
Stranger: but they are, and alway will be physicaly inferior
You: They are made weaker for a reason you know.
You: /rape
Stranger: /kitchen
You: Yes
You: Kitchen
You: Sandviches
Stranger: moar like Sandbitches
You: YUS
Stranger: and they're boring, I mean I don't hang out around the girls I know cause they're fun to be with
Stranger: some genuinely are, but they're an exception
You: They're just "fun" to be with :D
Stranger: yea in that way they are :p
You: Yea I have some girls that i'm close friends with.
You: :< They'll always be my friends I cant ask em or they'll "Lol"
You: Especially when I ask them to put them lovey suits on :3
Stranger: oh why would they not want to do that??
You: D: All about they dont want me to get the wrong ideas
Stranger: that's the problem, you can't build up an intimite relationship from a friendship
You: Ya i know. You always have to jump the gun and ask em to dates and stuff you cant become friends with them then ask.
Stranger: they're so complicated man
You: Yea.
Stranger: why can't it be like men?
Stranger: show tits, bring food
Stranger: that's it
You: YUS
Stranger: well, we wouldn't be showig our tits then of course
You: :D Slongs ftw
Stranger: so true
Stranger: but I think the girls just get corrupted by Disney you know
You: Ya
Stranger: all this Hannah Montana, Johnas borthers
Stranger: pisses me off
You: Oh my god johnas brothers wtf Purity rings really?
Stranger: and they try to cover it up with they purity rings
Stranger: like, wtf
Stranger: their*
You: You all know they've allready gotten it.
Stranger: fo sho
Stranger: horny teenage girls screaming at your feet
Stranger: how can't you have?
You: inorite
Stranger: what happened to you Mickey? ='( you were so kind on your steamboat
You: Yus
You: D:
Stranger: you know, I've been thinking
Stranger: first this corruption of disney
Stranger: then war brewing everywhere
Stranger: now celebrities dying
You: At 50
You: Conspiracy man D:
Stranger: even today, I heard this football player died
Stranger: never heard of the guy since I'm european and don't care about american football
Stranger: Steve Mc something
Stranger: and I've come to the conclusion
Stranger: that it's The Apocalypse
You: I'm american and I dont even care for sports
Stranger: way to match the sterotype
Stranger: nah just jking :p
You: All blown out of proportion.
You: ;p
Stranger: but srsly, the end is nigh
Stranger: pillage, plunder and rape at will, the end is ff'ing nigh
You: All the 2012 bullstuff is coming up to par.
Stranger: I know... I'm scared
Stranger: what if religion was right after all
Stranger: then I'm pretty much screwed
You: :O WHAT IF RELIGIONS ARE WRONG AND THERE ISNT A GOD D:
Stranger: what's there to fear then?
Stranger: nothing right?
You: Death
Stranger: well if there is nothing
Stranger: then what to fear
You: Our souls lost into nothingness
Stranger: well there wouldn't be a limbo too
You: ;[
Stranger: but I dunno, death like the time before you were born
Stranger: that's death
You: Well i gots to scaddadle.
Stranger: yea, I think I'll padoople too
Stranger: pretty late 'ere
You have disconnected.

[NotInsaneChef]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hey your first omegle for tonight :)
Stranger: how are you
You: i feel like an ice cube melting at 18degrees but has had a long life in the freezer making love to icecream
You: you?
Stranger: i love that feeling
Stranger: i feel like an antelope eating artechoke being squizzled by a giant apple
You: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
You have disconnected.

lol

[SuperToxic]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: 'herro
Stranger: : )
You: :D
Stranger: ; P
You: :3
Stranger: XD
You: ;_;
Stranger: >_<
You: :-|
Stranger: =@=
You: <(0_0<)
You: ^(0_0)^
Stranger: \(o.O)/
You: (>0_0)>
Stranger: -_-"
You: xD
Stranger: don't you think we're being really stupid?
Stranger: lol
You: Nuu
You: D:
You: YOU BROKE THE CHAIN
You: YOU BROOOOKE IT
Stranger: lol
Stranger: calm down
You: GODDAMNITWEHADACHAINGODloving DAMNITIMRAGINGSOHARDRIGHTNOWG AHDESU
Stranger: ...
Stranger: ok
Stranger: ur ott
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[SuperToxic]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: vHey
You: Hello
You: Do you live on Sesame Street?
You: My name is Elmo
You: My friend is a goldfish
You: I live in a house made of crayon
You: Well?
Stranger: .
You: Do you live on sesame street?
Stranger: .h e llo
You: This chat contains 9001 win points
Stranger: This chat contains 9001 win points
You: THAT IT DOES
You: HELLO ANON
Stranger: THAT IT DOES
Stranger: HELLO ANON
You: forget IM IN MIRROR WORLD
You: I KNEW BIGBIRD WAS PISSED THAT I GAVE HIM THOSE DRUGS
You: I DIDNT KNOW HE WOULD TAKE IT THIS FAR
Stranger: forget IM IN MIRROR WORLD
Stranger: I KNEW BIGBIRD WAS PISSED THAT I GAVE HIM THOSE DRUGS
Stranger: I DIDNT KNOW HE WOULD TAKE IT THIS FAR
You: It would seem that this stranger is a spy
You: Sandvich go
You: OM NOM NOM
You: NOM NOM
Stranger: It would seem that this stranger is a spy
Stranger: Sandvich go
Stranger: OM NOM NOM
Stranger: NOM NOM
You: THE CIA IS COMING TO MY HOUSE
You: KILL ME NOW
You have disconnected.

[Azjherben]

You: yo
Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: howdy
You: Wheat
Stranger: toast
You: Cooked bread
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Sarky56]

You: MICHELLE!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: sad
You: Umm...
You: I said Michelle, not micheal.
You: Hoping that you were michelle
You: :<

I dont even know a michelle, lol.

[SuperToxic]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl plz
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: ok.. where u from
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.